Volume Two Chapter One Animal Paradise

As the first rays of morning sunlight rose, wisps of cooking smoke began to curl above Banquet Moon Mound. Perhaps it was because the group had just returned, but the mound was so quiet one could not even hear an insect’s chirp.

Fortunately, Hong Kun and the others made it back in time; otherwise, the rescue party would have already set out. Seeing all of them safe and sound, the disciples could not help but breathe a sigh of relief. With their master missing without a trace, if even their senior brother had come to harm, Banquet Moon Mound would truly be leaderless.

There was still no news of the Mad Master. The search parties returned empty-handed—only Elder Xi Feng had yet to come back. Upon hearing this, Bi Yi grew terribly anxious and hurried straight to the Five-Colored Cave. Hong Kun and his companions discussed for half the day but could not come up with a good plan, so they decided to await their uncle’s return before making any decisions.

That very day, the pond where their master had fallen became the exclusive territory of the divine turtle, who now lorded over it in leisure—either remaining hidden in the depths or basking upon the shore. Han Yu and Mei Niang, though revealed in their true forms, could not be caged, so they were given a secluded courtyard to stay in. As for the red-beaked sparrow, its nature was too unpredictable; it was locked in a birdcage, with a demon-suppressing talisman affixed to the bars.

Although Hong Kun had prepared healing elixirs for Han Yu and Mei Niang, both grew weaker with each passing day. Seeing their declining state, Yi Bing was frantic with worry and constantly sought help from his senior brothers. Yet Hong Kun and Hong Peng had exhausted their wits; all they could do was hope that their uncle would arrive soon. Though Hong Qin had awakened, she was barely clinging to life, silent and unresponsive to all, but she showed no restraint when it came to the food and water Yi Bing brought her.

To comfort Han Yu and Mei Niang, Yi Bing picked radishes and grapes every day for them to eat. The radishes and grapes of Banquet Moon Mound, after all, were considered celestial fare—perhaps they could aid in their recovery, however slightly. The two of them enjoyed the gifts, but could not eat much, tasting only a little each time. Seeing this, Yi Bing grew even more troubled, though he said nothing.

One day, as Yi Bing was picking grapes and eating them at the same time, a fragrant breeze swept up behind him.

“Master’s wife... Uncle!” Yi Bing was so excited that he blurted out without thinking. Turning, he dropped to his knees with a thud.

“How did you know it was me?” Elder Xi Feng was taken aback. This chubby boy hadn’t even turned around before recognizing her.

“Uncle, you carry a fragrance with you!” Yi Bing answered at once.

“Fragrance?” Xi Feng’s face brightened.

“How to explain... It’s faint, hard to describe, but it smells peaceful. Anyway, I can smell it...” Yi Bing scratched his head nervously.

“You little fat lump, still as glib as ever. Get up and answer me properly!” Xi Feng immediately put on a stern face.

“Yes!” Yi Bing carefully scrambled to his feet. After a few days apart, his uncle looked rather haggard.

“Let me ask you—why did your master teach you the Dao?” Xi Feng suddenly asked in a sharp tone.

“To uphold righteousness and vanquish demons!” Yi Bing replied, though he thought privately, “Isn’t it just to make up the numbers?”

“Hmph! Yet look at you—not only do you spare the demons, you keep a whole menagerie of monsters!” Xi Feng’s gaze was sharp as lightning.

“No, Uncle, I haven’t!” Yi Bing waved his hands in alarm. “Han Yu is another matter. As for Mei Niang—no, the Seven-Tailed Fox—she was injured saving me. I couldn’t just abandon her! And that red-beaked sparrow—I simply didn’t want to see her corpse left to rot in the wild! Oh, and the turtle too, it’s helped me several times!”

“Ha! You’ve even made a sworn brother of a turtle? Come, tell me everything!” Xi Feng, somewhat astonished, led Yi Bing toward a nearby pavilion.

Inside, there was a stone table and two stone stools. Elder Xi Feng seated herself, but Yi Bing dared not. Standing with hands by his side, he began his account, leaving nothing out—from their very first day away from Banquet Moon Mound, down to the smallest detail, even recounting everything Hong Kun and Hong Peng had said. Eventually, Xi Feng frowned and told him to skip the trivialities and focus on the main points.

Though a little disappointed, Yi Bing obediently reorganized his thoughts. He began with how he lost his brothers while chasing a rabbit, then how he rescued Fatty Girl, joined forces with them, and ventured into Yu King’s Cave. When he told of drawing the Divine Iron and defeating the Azure Dragon, Xi Feng’s curiosity was piqued. “What is this Divine Iron? Let me see it!” Yi Bing quickly untied his belt and restored the item to its original form.

“You really are blessed by fortune...” Elder Xi Feng examined the Divine Iron closely.

“You say it becomes whatever you imagine? Show me!” Xi Feng handed the Divine Iron back. After a moment’s hesitation, Yi Bing transformed it into a huge pink pouch.

“What’s this? Oh...” Xi Feng realized halfway through—it was her own pill pouch!

“I...” Yi Bing lowered his head awkwardly. Perhaps because he had once benefited from her generosity, whenever he saw his uncle, that pink pouch would pop into his mind—for it, he had gone hungry for three days!

“Try something else,” Xi Feng said with an amused glance.

Obligingly, Yi Bing transformed the Divine Iron into a succession of objects: a sword, a biscuit, a single-edged blade, a radish, a fan, a chicken leg... The shapes grew ever stranger, until Xi Feng lifted a hand to halt him.

“All right, enough, continue your story,” Xi Feng said, pointing at the stone stool, and only then did Yi Bing sit, still cautious.

He glossed over the details of meeting Mei Niang after leaving Yu King’s Cave, and especially omitted how he lost his soul. Yet he sang Han Yu’s praises for sacrificing herself to save him. Xi Feng understood his intentions—though the tale was long-winded, she listened without interruption. But when Yi Bing recounted how he met Mei Niang at night and gave her a Mystic Gold Elixir, Xi Feng’s expression darkened at once. “You are generous indeed, little fatty!”

“Uncle, I pitied her... She couldn’t walk the righteous path, so she turned to dark ways, harming others and ultimately herself...” Yi Bing’s round face trembled.

“Hmph! If she couldn’t walk the right path, she could have simply refrained from evil. That, too, is cultivation! You, with such a soft heart, how did you manage to bite that rabbit’s leg so hard?” Xi Feng scoffed. Yi Bing’s heart skipped a beat. “Indeed—why didn’t I feel compassion then?”

When Yi Bing described encountering the little black rabbit and how Mo Feng helped him find Han Yu, then promised to bring him back to Banquet Moon Mound, Xi Feng herself felt a jolt. “Heavens, there’s even a little black rabbit!”

Seeing his uncle’s odd expression, Yi Bing, who had been wavering, decided not to mention giving Han Yu another Mystic Gold Elixir. He skipped ahead to the events at Flat Horse Mountain and the Immortal Cultivation Assembly. Upon hearing how he was forced to duel on stage and defeated the Zhengjia Sect with a conjured giant cauldron, Xi Feng finally burst out laughing. “This little fatty truly thinks with his stomach! If it isn’t a chicken leg, it’s a rice pot!”

Yi Bing relaxed. He recounted how they were invited to listen to a sermon, attacked by demons on the way, rescued by an injured Mei Niang from the Jade-Faced Lord, then how they entered the Returning Origin Cave, overcame numerous trials, and finally saw daylight again—all in one breath. Xi Feng listened quietly, only interrupting when she heard about the white horse turning into a turtle.

“The turtle claimed to have spent a thousand years in the stone?” Xi Feng asked curiously.

“Yes!” Yi Bing nodded eagerly. Seeing his uncle deep in thought, he suddenly remembered something. “Uncle, that teardrop that burrows around inside me—it won’t do any harm, will it?” He had long been troubled by this.

“You don’t know?” Xi Feng looked up at him.

“Know what?”

“It will do something! But it’s a good thing. You’ll understand in time,” Xi Feng replied with a gentle smile. Though still puzzled, Yi Bing dared not ask further.

He continued with their journey to the Twin Fish Cave, the fierce battle with the Jade-Faced Lord, and the daring rescue of their fellow cultivators, describing each scene vividly. Xi Feng listened with growing interest, sometimes asking a question or two. Hearing that only their group dared to ascend Yin-Yang Mountain for the rescue, she looked openly approving—her senior brother’s disciples were indeed impressive!

“Uncle, where is Senior Sister Bi Yi?” Yi Bing suddenly thought of the cold, beautiful, aloof senior sister.

“I left her to watch over the Five-Colored Cave.” In fact, Xi Feng had intended to bring her along, but worried her sharp tongue would only complicate matters, so she left Bi Yi behind. As expected, Yi Bing wasn’t as hopeless as others made him out to be.

“Oh...” Disappointment filled Yi Bing’s face. He had thought his uncle would bring Senior Sister Bi Yi, and had even planned to share grapes with her.

As he went on to recount their night at the Sun-Moon Temple, their capture by the Myriad Turbid Palace, and the painted-world duel with Hong Qin, his enthusiasm waned. But seeing how attentively Xi Feng listened, he grew animated again—especially when he described sneaking into the woods and inadvertently smoking out Hong Qin and the others, gesturing so vividly that Xi Feng could only frown.

“I never imagined she’d pull out the demon mirror and turn me into a sheep!” Yi Bing grumbled.

“Ha! Such a fat sheep would make a fine ride!” Xi Feng couldn’t help but laugh.

“How did you know?” Yi Bing stared, astonished.

“I... Wait, you really got ridden? Hahahaha!” Xi Feng was momentarily stunned.

“Hmph! I gave her quite a jolt myself!” Yi Bing replied, embarrassed.

“Really?” Xi Feng teased him. Yi Bing, cheeks burning, quickly changed the subject. “After that, I was locked in the sheep pen and found all the captured cultivators there. Soon after, my senior brothers were also captured, with only Han Yu, Mei Niang, and Miss Zhao escaping. Oh, and the turtle vanished too! Not long after, Miss Zhao was also brought in—she looked completely dazed. Later, I learned her spirit had left her body!”

“Spirit left her body?!” Xi Feng was astonished.

“Yes! She said her master taught her specifically, fearing her size might make it hard to escape danger,” Yi Bing explained, nodding.

“That girl is as fat as you?” Xi Feng’s eyes widened.

“Hmm, not much different!” Yi Bing suddenly recalled the biscuit Fatty Girl had given him.

“My, that’s no small feat. I must meet her someday!”

“Miss Zhao said that the moment the demon mirror shone on her, she immediately sent her spirit out. After her body was led away as a sheep, her spirit wandered and soon found Han Yu and Mei Niang. By then, Mei Niang had transformed both herself and Han Yu to look like demonesses—how Miss Zhao recognized them, I have no idea. Then, she ran into the turtle, and together they infiltrated Pure Sound Palace! What I know is just bits and pieces from Miss Zhao and Han Yu.”

Xi Feng nodded, saying nothing. To separate spirit from body at such a young age—truly extraordinary.

“They found us and planned to rescue us immediately, but didn’t know how to break the spell turning us into sheep. While they were discussing, Hong Qin appeared, saying she needed to select some sheep as gifts for Master Bao Pu. Mei Niang and Han Yu quickly stepped forward to distract her, making Hong Qin so happy that she agreed to let them escort us. On the way, Han Yu knocked Hong Qin unconscious, Mei Niang let Miss Zhao possess Hong Qin’s body, and the turtle untied our ropes. They planned to ambush Master Bao Pu when she was off her guard, but...”

“But they were discovered already!” Xi Feng interjected.

“Yes! Uncle, how did you know?”

“With their meager cultivation, how could they fool that old demon?”

“...”

“And then?” Xi Feng urged.

“They failed to surprise her, and both were forced back to their true forms. At that moment, Hong Qin—or rather, Miss Zhao—rushed forward and clung tightly to the old demon, but was quickly flung aside. At that, a third eye sprouted on the old demon’s forehead, allowing her to see Miss Zhao’s spirit. She shouted that she’d destroy Miss Zhao’s soul! In the chaos, the turtle brought me the Divine Iron, and with no time to hesitate, I transformed it into a turtle’s head and rammed her. She was sent flying and vanished in a puff of black smoke.”

“A turtle’s head? Of all things! If you’d tried something else, you might not have survived!” Xi Feng shook her head.

“Ah?!” Yi Bing was startled. “Next time I face her, I must remember to use the turtle’s head!”

When Yi Bing finally finished his tale, Xi Feng fell silent for a long time. Her heart was filled with both joy and worry—joy that he was so favored by destiny, worry that his kindness and impulsive nature made him more and more like her mad senior brother.

“Uncle?” Yi Bing asked nervously.

“Ah?” Xi Feng returned to herself.

“I beg you, Uncle, please save Han Yu and the others!” Yi Bing pleaded, dropping to his knees again.

“Save them? They should count their blessings if I don’t destroy them!” Xi Feng’s face darkened at once.

“Uncle...”

“That’s enough! Take me to meet the monsters and demons you’ve adopted!”