Volume One Chapter 29: Coming In and Going Out

For a long time, no one moved. Neither those within the painting nor those outside it.

Finally, as the ripples on the little river faded, Yibing slowly climbed to his feet. Raising his head, he saw that the black snake’s fangs had indeed stopped at the throat of the leading demoness!

“Hey? Are you alright?” Seeing her motionless, eyes wide open, mouth agape with her tongue lolling out, Yibing couldn’t help but worry.

The leading demoness’s tongue retracted.

“Good, good... As long as you’re fine...” Yibing breathed a long sigh of relief. Whether human or demon, life was life; crushing it was never a good thing.

“...Get off... you... fat... oaf...” she whispered feebly.

“Oh... oh...” Yibing quickly slid off her. The other demonesses stepped back, clutching their whips warily.

“Hey, Hongqin, are you ever going to stop playing?” one demoness called out in a huff. So the lead demoness was named Hongqin.

“What did I do?” Hongqin finally managed to speak after a long pause, feeling as though her soul had been knocked out of her.

“What did you do? We all play with snakes, you know a black snake can’t possibly restrain you, yet you let it coil around you on purpose. Fine, let’s say you fancy this little fat one and want to toy with him, so we played along. But you can’t keep dragging it out—why did you let him capture you again?” The demoness’s little nose was practically twisted with frustration.

“On purpose? Hmph...” Hongqin exhaled deeply. “I couldn’t undo it at all! I chanted the spell several times, but it wouldn’t obey me!”

Hearing this, Yibing broke out in cold sweat. That was close! Best to get away quickly. He hurriedly perched himself atop Hongqin. “Quick, tell me how to get out—quick!” Though he tried to hold himself back, his weight nearly made Hongqin cry out, and even the black snake’s mouth split from the pressure. Realizing the awkwardness, Yibing quickly eased up a little.

“Ah... What’s the rush to leave? Why not stay with me and cultivate together?” Hongqin suddenly blushed, switching to a more seductive approach.

“Nonsense! I... I have a master!” Yibing stammered.

“Is your master prettier than me? Is your master more beautiful?” Hongqin deliberately twisted her body. The other demonesses began to sing in a moaning chorus.

“...No...” In Yibing’s mind, his crazy master’s four locks of beard were as lovely as Hongqin’s long hair.

“If not, then stay with me!” Hongqin’s tender voice was almost soul-stealing.

“This is bad!” Even though she couldn’t hear the words, the demonesses’ dancing made Meiniang cry out immediately.

“Hmph! Same old tricks!” Hanyu clearly understood what she was worried about.

“What do you mean?” Biyi looked at Qi Yuanxiao in confusion, but Qi Yuanxiao, face flushed, opened his mouth and said nothing.

“Ah!” Yibing suddenly screamed and jumped up. The scream was so tragic that everything fell silent.

Looking down, he saw that the divine turtle had somehow crawled out and was fiercely biting his ankle. A turtle’s bite is notoriously strong, and this one was particularly savage. Yibing quickly reached to grab it, but the turtle, instead of dodging, immediately released his foot.

“Brother Turtle! Brother Turtle!” Yibing joyfully cradled the divine turtle, calling out. But the turtle ignored him, even shot him a glare, then simply withdrew its head into its shell. Awkwardly swallowing, Yibing tucked the turtle into his chest, thinking, “Thank goodness for that bite—otherwise, I’d be doomed again! Alas, I never learn from my mistakes, how embarrassing! I wonder if those outside the wall noticed? I’d better ask how to get out—otherwise, these demonesses will get me sooner or later...”

“Tell me how to get out!” Yibing opened his eyes wide in a tiger-like glare. Though he looked somewhat cute, Hongqin understood he was in no mood for debate.

“Alright, alright! I’ll tell you! Stand outside the wall, aim your forehead at the section near the little bridge, and slam into it—you’ll enter...” Hongqin explained, glancing at the other demonesses.

“I’m asking how to leave!” Yibing puffed his cheeks in anger.

“Oh? Oh! Right! Right! If you want to leave, you have to... Fat brother, could you move it away a bit? Its breath is so foul...” Hongqin pleaded tenderly.

“...Alright... alright...” Here we go again! Yibing quickly looked away, and the snake’s head also moved from Hongqin’s throat.

“Fat brother, you should exit over there, just over there...” Hongqin continued in a sweet voice, gesturing behind Yibing.

“Where?” Yibing quickly turned his head.

“That little bridge over there... ha ha...” Hongqin laughed suddenly, making Yibing shiver. Turning back, he saw only the black snake coiled on the ground—Hongqin had vanished. At that moment, all the demonesses lashed their whips in unison, binding his hands and feet again, and even ensnaring the black snake at its vulnerable spot.

“Dead fatso!” Hongqin’s angry shout echoed from above, and a red-billed sparrow flew toward him. Before he could react, the sparrow transformed into Hongqin with big almond-shaped eyes, and she lashed his hand with her whip. The black snake slipped from his grip and reverted to an iron rod.

“Dead fatso, for crushing me! For crushing me!” Hongqin sat heavily on Yibing’s belly, pressing down with all her might.

As Yibing was dragged off into the distance, the crowd outside the wall grew anxious. They had come to rescue someone, but instead ended up losing another.

“Hmph?! Strange!” Noticing Hongqin swinging the divine iron as she walked, Qi Yuanxiao was astonished. In the cave of King Yu, he couldn’t budge it—how could the demoness pick it up so easily?

“What’s strange?” Jin Guishan asked.

“That divine iron—how can she lift it?” Qi Yuanxiao pointed at the painting.

“Yes! Yes!” The chubby girl and others were equally surprised, though Hongkun and his companions were completely baffled.

“After leaving King Yu’s cave, none of us touched the divine iron. Maybe it’s always been movable, just not obedient to anyone. Look at that demoness!” Hanyu muttered. The demoness fiddled with it for a while, saw no change, and tucked it into her belt.

“Ah! That turtle!” Biyi suddenly cried out.

Everyone turned to look—it was indeed the divine turtle! It was steadily crawling along the bridge toward the outside of the wall, stopping only at the bridgehead. There, it stretched and retracted its head repeatedly, as if it wanted to ram its way out.

“What’s it doing?” Meiniang asked in confusion.

“How should I know! Maybe it wants out...” Hanyu shrugged.

But the turtle couldn’t get out. Frustrated, it rubbed its head with its forelegs and shouted toward the receding demonesses.

“Can’t get out, it’s mad and cursing! Ha ha...” Meiniang couldn’t help but laugh, but seeing everyone’s deadpan faces, she quickly stifled her laughter.

The turtle soon tired of cursing. It lay on the bridge for a while, then suddenly flipped over. After a moment, it flipped back again. Then flipped once more, back and forth, sometimes shell to the ground, sometimes belly—leaving those outside the wall bewildered.

“Gone mad?” Meiniang said gravely, and Hanyu shot her a glare.

When it finally stopped flipping, the turtle turned its head toward the wall, tail to the outside, repeating the stretching motions. Then it turned back, nodding repeatedly toward the wall.

“This dead turtle, flipping back and forth—is it trying to tell us something’s reversed?” Hanyu frowned.

“Maybe... Ramming the wall from outside is to get out, but what does ramming from inside mean?” Hongpeng echoed.

“Is it trying to get us to ram in? But we tried already!” Biyi interjected.

Before she finished, the turtle braced itself and began pounding the bridgehead with its head.

“I get it! It's saying—use your head, ram in from the bridgehead...” Hanyu started confidently but faltered at the end. Headbutting was no joke, and this was just a guess.

“Sister!” Jin Guishan suddenly cried. But before he could grab her, the chubby girl had already rammed her head into the wall. Everyone closed their eyes, but no loud crash was heard. Opening them, they saw the chubby girl sprawled inside the painting.

“Silly girl...” Hanyu patted his chest in relief.

“Brother Turtle? Brother Turtle?” The chubby girl searched for the divine turtle, but couldn’t find a trace.

“...Get... off...” A weak voice came from beneath her, making her jump up in fright.

On the bridge, the divine turtle was flattened by her, its neck and legs stretched out absurdly.

“Sorry, Brother Turtle! Sorry...” The chubby girl was so anxious she started to cry, hastily peeling the turtle off the ground.

Those who followed her in wanted to laugh but didn’t dare, their faces flushed with suppressed mirth.

“Is the divine turtle alright?” Hanyu asked, grinning.

“Alright?! Let her crush you and see!” If the chubby girl hadn’t held it, the turtle would’ve bitten Hanyu’s nose.

“Why so upset? She’s just worried about you! If not for you, how could we have gotten in?” Hanyu jumped away in fright.

“Hmph!” Clearly pleased by the praise, the turtle raised its neck proudly.

“Brother Turtle, it’s all my fault, blame me!” The chubby girl said, deeply apologetic.

The turtle stiffened its neck, rolled its eyes. “No need for scolding—you were the first to figure it out. Merits and faults cancel each other. Carry me! Let me crush you for a change!”

“Of course! Of course!” The chubby girl beamed through her tears, quickly putting the turtle into her pack.

“If merits and faults are even, why punish her by making her carry you? Why not let me carry you?” Hanyu teased sarcastically. The turtle stretched out its head, but after looking at Hanyu, withdrew it again. “No!”

“I’ll carry you!” The chubby girl said gratefully. Hanyu stuck out her tongue in mischief.

“Don’t run too fast! Don’t bounce like a rabbit—I get dizzy!” The turtle shouted loudly, making Hanyu want to smack the pack, but the chubby girl stopped her.

“What’s wrong?” The turtle poked its head out, wary.

“Nothing, nothing! Let’s hurry and save Yibing!” The chubby girl quickly changed the subject. The turtle shot Hanyu a glare and retreated into the pack. Hanyu opened her mouth, wanting to curse.

Dragging Yibing was no easy task. The demonesses moved in fits and starts, only reaching the foot of the mountain after a long time. The distances inside the painting felt entirely different from outside—it wasn’t as far as it looked.

“Hey, Hongqin, how do we get up this slope?” Gazing at the palace above, the demonesses all wore expressions of misery.

“This dead fatso!” Hongqin viciously kicked Yibing, then pulled out a bronze mirror from her bosom.

“Why didn’t you bring it out earlier? If you had, we wouldn’t be so exhausted!” The demonesses complained.

“I forgot! I meant to use it at night in the dungeon!” Hongqin apologized.

“Hurry up! Hurry up! Let’s get back—if we’re late, the master will scold us again!”

Hongqin quickly raised the mirror, aiming it at Yibing. She chanted, and a red beam shot from the mirror, instantly hitting Yibing’s face.

“Hey?” Yibing started, quickly shutting his eyes.

“Wow!” The demonesses’ scream made Yibing open his eyes in fright.

Something felt off—he was no longer staring at the blue sky, but at lush green grass, and an irresistible urge to eat. What were these sheep hooves? Why was there wool on his chest? My god! He had turned into a sheep!

“Hehe, even as a sheep, you’re a fat sheep!” Hongqin giggled.

End of page.