Volume One, Chapter Twenty-Eight: Within and Beyond the Painting

After meditating for quite a while and nearly falling asleep, Biyi found that nothing had happened. Embarrassed, she opened her eyes, only to discover she was alone—the others had all gathered by the wall, peering at something. With a resigned pout, she hurried to join them.

Yibing felt a bit bewildered; he only remembered being pushed and then rolling over the small bridge. Here, lush green grass stretched as far as the eye could see, with two distant peaks looming over the horizon, and atop one, a golden palace stood gleaming.

“Did I somehow enter the painting?” Yibing muttered to himself, turning to look back. Sure enough, just like in the mural, a small river cut across the land. Yet, there was no sign of Fat Girl and the others on the opposite bank—only a mirrored landscape: grasslands, peaks, and palace, as if the mural were gazing into a mirror.

“This can’t be good,” Yibing thought, anxiety rising. He rushed toward the little bridge but was blocked by an invisible wall. He tried to jump into the river, thinking he could swim across, but was bounced back each time he leaped from the riverbank. Undeterred, he kept running along the river, picking up speed.

All those outside the painting watched as a plump figure rolled back and forth, careening from one end of the mural to the other, making everyone’s heads spin. When Yibing finally gave up, they all exhaled in relief.

“Why does he keep running like that?” Helingchi asked, feeling a bit queasy.

“I... I don't know either...” Fat Girl patted her chest.

Humans have human auras, spirits have spirit auras! The moment Yibing entered, the shepherd girls sensed it, all turning their heads toward the bridge.

“Oh no! We’ve been spotted! They’re all turning around!” Hongpeng was the first to exclaim. Qi Yuanxiao shot him a glance, thinking, “He’s certainly observant.”

“Yes, and that fool is still sitting there!” Hanyu, annoyed, gave the wall a kick.

By now, Yibing, catching his breath, was listlessly looking around when he noticed a patch of wild fruit within arm’s reach. His spirits immediately lifted—nothing could distract him from food. He shuffled over, plucked a fruit, and popped it into his mouth. It was sweet, and soon he was munching away voraciously.

“Look at him, still eating!” Meinong couldn’t help but laugh.

“You think this is funny? The enemy is about to attack!” Hanyu was far less optimistic.

Indeed, the shepherd girls had already gathered together. Leaving two behind to drive the sheep toward the palace, the rest, whips in hand, marched toward the bridge. Those outside saw the painted girls inching closer and closer to Yibing, who, absorbed in his feast, remained oblivious. But just as they were about to reach him, Yibing suddenly leapt up and dashed for the riverbank, so quickly that, from outside the mural, it looked perfectly seamless. The shepherd girls froze, startled, and even the onlookers outside the painting were taken aback.

Yet after only two steps, Yibing abruptly stopped, glanced at those outside the wall, then turned and ran into a small grove. Seeing that he hadn’t noticed them, the shepherd girls crept up, but when he didn’t emerge from the grove for some time, they exchanged uneasy glances and then charged in together—only to fly back out in a panic moments later.

“What happened?” Fat Girl anxiously clenched her fists.

“...” Hanyu hesitated to speak.

“Didn’t you see them covering their noses? Wait—” Meinong stopped mid-sentence, for a small black dot had appeared at the edge of the woods.

“Is that a turtle?” Biyi asked.

“I think so…” Qi Yuanxiao replied eagerly.

Hanyu couldn’t contain herself and burst out laughing, nearly rolling on the ground.

Indeed, Yibing had simply relieved himself in the woods! He’d been eating heartily when a sudden stomachache struck. Unable to bear it, he’d initially thought to go to the riverbank, but fearing he might still be visible from outside, he’d instead dashed for the grove—unintentionally driving the shepherd girls away. As for the divine turtle, it had hurried off on its own! The shrieks outside the woods alerted Yibing to danger, and as he hastily pulled up his pants, he grabbed his sacred iron rod.

“Stupid fatty, get out here now!” The shepherd girls, still reeling from the stench, kept a wary distance, standing several meters from the grove.

“I’m not coming out!” Yibing replied from within. Seeing the group of whip-wielding demonesses, he had no intention of surrendering himself.

“Come out!”

“No! Cough, cough…”

The standoff didn’t last long—Yibing couldn’t bear the smell any longer and finally emerged. Spotting the divine turtle belly-up on the grass, he reached for it, but the turtle flipped over and vanished in a flash.

“Brother Turtle, you…” Yibing was mortified.

“Stupid fatty!” Suddenly, a sharp cry rang out behind him, followed by the crack of a whip. Yibing immediately rolled aside, swinging his sacred iron rod in defense. Screams erupted as he glanced back to see the demonesses scattering in panic. Looking down, he discovered the sacred iron had transformed into a massive black serpent.

“Oh!” Yibing was so startled he nearly dropped it. The black snake in the dungeon had terrified him for days; he hadn’t deliberately thought of it, but the iron rod had transformed at his whim. He glanced outside the wall and sighed in relief: “Thank goodness I wasn’t thinking of Meinong’s lovely legs pulling at the door, or else…” But as the thought formed, the snake’s head instantly morphed into a delicate jade foot.

“Oh no!” Yibing hurriedly planted the snake on the ground and willed himself to focus only on the dungeon’s black snake, banishing all thoughts of beautiful legs.

Meanwhile, those outside, who’d jumped back in fright, reconvened.

“What’s he doing?” Fat Girl wondered aloud. The others felt the same. Scaring off the demonesses with the black snake made sense, but to just stand there, unmoving, neither pursuing nor escaping, was baffling.

The demonesses, having fled, cautiously circled back, whips at the ready to strike the black snake. Yibing glanced at his sacred iron and, seeing the transformation had stopped, let out a sigh of relief.

“Little fatty, how did you get in here?” the lead demoness asked nervously.

“I… I don’t know…” Yibing scratched his head, bewildered. It was then he realized this was the young Taoist nun who’d opened the door at the Sun and Moon Temple. Now, she was dressed not like a celestial maiden but a demoness—her attire even more revealing than Meinong’s, her bare legs exposed to the breeze…

“You don’t know?” she snapped, lashing out with her whip. Yibing blocked with the snake, but the tail flicked around and struck his back, making him roll in pain. The others seized the opportunity and rained down blows. Yibing tumbled and dodged, taking several lashes but finally finding an opening to leap free like lightning. Just as he escaped their circle, however, a whip caught his ankle and dragged him back.

Frustrated, Yibing thought, “If I really were a snake, I could bend and fight back!” Instantly, the black snake in his hand came alive. He swung it at the whip, and the snake coiled around it.

“If only it could grow longer and bite her hand!” At the thought, the snake stretched, racing up the whip toward the demoness’s hand.

“Heavens!” she shrieked, tossing the whip and leaping back.

“Longer—tie her up!” Yibing willed. The black snake shot forward, wrapping the demoness up and pinning her to the ground.

“Now’s your chance! He’s unarmed!” The demoness, far from frightened, urged the others to attack.

The others charged, but Yibing seized the lead demoness by the throat and shouted, “Take another step and I’ll ruin her cultivation!”

“No, don’t!” she screamed, and the rest halted at once. Like Hanyu, their greatest fear was the loss of their powers—even if Yibing didn’t know how to do it, bluffing was enough.

“Tell me, what did you do with my companions? Wait—” Yibing realized the one he’d pinned was the leader. Her clothes were now in disarray, exposing a pale expanse. In a panic, he looked away, staring up at the sky.

“They… went to cultivate with the Master…”

“What kind of cultivation?”

She chuckled, “The happy kind, of course!”

A chill ran through Yibing—was it the same kind of “cultivation” as Meinong’s?

“My, you know quite a lot for a little fatty!” The lead demoness noticed Yibing’s flushed face and wondered why he was staring intently at the sky—there was nothing there but clouds.

“Enough nonsense—where are they hiding my friends?” Yibing was growing breathless.

“Little fatty, what are you looking at?” She glanced down at her nearly exposed body and instantly understood.

“What’s he looking at? There’s nothing up there,” the others outside wondered.

“Nothing!” Yibing muttered.

“Are you afraid to look at me?” The lead demoness laughed.

“Who… Who says I’m afraid?” Yibing’s voice faltered.

“Oh, you’re so dishonest! Clearly you’re embarrassed, yet you pretend otherwise!” she teased.

“Fine, I’ll look!” Yibing stared straight into her eyes. Her cheeks were flushed, her face like a peach blossom, and her eyes shimmered with flirtatious mischief—far more seductive than Meinong’s.

“Look at you, blushing!” She blew him a playful kiss.

“Just tell me how to get out!” Yibing felt dizzy—he’d better find his senior brothers and get out of here!

“You knew how to come in, didn’t you? So surely you know how to get out?” she asked, eyes wide with curiosity. Yibing’s head spun.

“I was pushed and fell in by accident…”

“Then just bump your way out!” She finally understood he’d stumbled in by mistake.

“I… just tell me! Or else…” Yibing tightened his grip.

“Oh, if you want to touch me, don’t be so rough!” she teased, licking his chubby hand with her tongue.

“Hey!” Yibing jerked his hand away in fright.

Seeing their companion freed, the other demonesses pounced, their whips quickly binding Yibing’s hands and feet and hoisting him into the air. Though he clung tightly to his sacred iron, he couldn’t move. Looking down, the lead demoness stared up in terror—a hefty fatty suspended above her did not bode well. She began to chant urgently.

Panic rising, Yibing desperately thought, “If only the black snake could bite her throat! If only the black snake could bite her throat!”

“No! No!” The lead demoness’s scream sent the others scattering. Sometimes, premonitions are spot on! Yibing crashed down heavily on top of her, shaking the entire mural—so much so that even those outside felt it tremble.

“Oh my, that little lass is…” Meinong grinned, “…in ecstasy and agony both…”