Volume One: The Celestial Palace Amidst the Clouds Chapter Fifty-Five: Kiss Me

Chapter Fifty-Five: Kiss Me

Immortal Yunmiao descended in a stream of light to the side of Lord Muqi, seeing that he had closed his eyes, his expression peaceful. Yunmiao knew then—Muqi had let go of everything.

Yunmiao stood alone atop the Ascension Platform. In the next moment, he picked up the body of Lord Muqi and walked step by step before the elders and disciples of Muqi Hall.

“Your hall master was killed by me. When my end draws near, I will come to Muqi Hall myself and take my own life to atone. For now, please take him home and bury him well.”

Faced with Yunmiao’s solemn tone, none of the Muqi Hall members dared object. They quickly received their master’s body and flew back through the air.

Now, only Yunmiao and the two halls of Lieshan remained.

“Lord Yunmiao, you truly command admiration—not just for your cultivation and strength, but more for your bearing. Lieshan respects you. However, that turtle does tempt me; I’m not willing to simply let Yunmiao Immortal Hall have it. So, a battle between us is inevitable!” Lord Lieshan now stood before Yunmiao, his imposing figure radiating pressure.

Yet, in Yunmiao’s eyes, this pressure meant nothing. He laughed freely. “Since Lord Lieshan wishes to fight, I will gladly accompany you to the end!”

“Good. But you are gravely wounded, and the venom left by the dragon still plagues you. I don’t wish to take advantage. Let us settle this swiftly—with a single punch to decide the victor. How about it?” Lord Lieshan nodded, his gaze upon Yunmiao’s pale face filled with respect.

“Agreed. One punch to decide the winner,” Yunmiao answered.

The vast sky stretched blue and clear, the oppressive scene from before completely dispersed. The Ascension Platform was restored to its former glory, clouds swirling and rainbows arching overhead.

The two figures stood ten meters apart, both wearing smiles. This battle was less a contest and more a friendly duel.

Boom!

Lord Lieshan raised his arm and punched, distorting the void. His fist imprint thundered forward with the roar of tigers and dragons, accompanied by a spectacle of beasts charging—a punch of unrivaled dominance.

Crash!

Yunmiao punched as well, his fist radiating brilliant white light. The glow resonated with sword-like clangs, and as his punch struck, the void cracked as if an invisible sword aura enveloped the fist, slashing through all obstacles.

Bang! Bang!

The fists collided. The Ascension Platform trembled violently; a circular shockwave rippled across the heavens, shattering clouds in its wake. Lightning intertwined at the clash, tearing open space with black, web-like cracks spreading for thousands of miles!

Step, step, step...

Both hall masters were forced backward by each other’s might. Lord Lieshan retreated eighteen steps; Yunmiao one step fewer, winning by a slim margin!

“I’ve lost! Lord Yunmiao, your fist strength surpasses even a physical cultivator like me. Your human-sword technique is truly unparalleled. The turtle is yours, for Yunmiao Immortal Hall!” Lord Lieshan was forthright—having lost, he did not linger or dispute.

In the next moment, the Lieshan Hall members all departed!

Step, step, step, step, step...

Just as the Lieshan Hall members vanished into the clouds, Yunmiao, having retreated to his seventeenth step, involuntarily staggered further and finally collapsed to the ground to steady himself.

“Big brother!” Yunfang cried out in panic, rushing first to Yunmiao’s side.

“How are you? Earlier—” Yunfang asked anxiously.

“It’s nothing, it doesn’t matter. Let’s go home,” Yunmiao shook his head, saying no more.

Yunfang helped him up, and the other elders and disciples of Yunmiao Hall all wore worried expressions. None had imagined their master would ever appear so “disheveled.”

Yet to them—especially the disciples—this “dishevelment” was a mark of masculine dignity!

The battle with Lord Muqi had been ferocious, and Yunmiao was gravely wounded and poisoned. Yet he faced off against Lord Lieshan, famed for physical strength. The outcome had been decided long ago. Still, Yunmiao did not concede. At the seventeenth step, he used the human-sword technique to anchor his foot to the platform—being one with the sword, as if he impaled himself into the earth to halt his retreat!

Lord Lieshan knew the trick, but did not expose it. He respected Yunmiao, knowing he could never truly defeat him—not for lack of strength, but for lack of bearing. So he simply praised, “The human-sword technique is indeed remarkable,” to end the match.

“It’s over.”

Yunmiao stepped onto a cloud, followed by all his disciples and elders. Unlike when they arrived, now there was an extra turtle.

“You filthy turtle, I’m going to stew you, ahhhh...” Yu Nan raged atop the cloud, furious at the turtle. It always tried to hug her and shamelessly called her its mother.

“Mama, don’t you love me anymore? Baby wants a hug!” The turtle put on a pitiful face, looking at Yu Nan.

Smack!

All it got in return was a loud slap. Yu Nan truly wanted to strip its thick black shell and slap its backside hard.

“Ah! You crazy woman! You lied to me—you’re not my mother. My mother wouldn’t hit me. I want to go home, I won’t go with you. I want to choose again, eat fragrant bugs and drink fine wine!” The turtle, terrified of being hit, cried out, and when Yu Nan raised her hand again, it quickly tucked its head and limbs inside its “little black house,” refusing to come out.

“Get out here! Who are you calling crazy woman? Say it again and I’ll tear apart your little black house!” Yu Nan gnashed her teeth, furious, pointing at the turtle’s shell.

“Hmph, I won’t come out. What can you do? Crazy woman, crazy woman...”

“Aaaaah! Dead filthy turtle, just wait. I’ll stew you, steam you, fry you, roast you, braise you...”

Yunmiao Immortal Hall.

The grand assembly was over. The group, weary from their journey, all wanted to rest. Yunfang stayed at Yunmiao’s mountain to help him detoxify.

Night fell. Stars filled the sky, moonlight flowed like water.

On Yunfang’s mountain, two figures soaked in a blue lake.

“My word! Twelve moons, truly beautiful!” The turtle, imitating Zhou Hao, lay comfortably on the lakeside, its little paws folded across its chest.

“There’s no good words in your turtle mouth. How is it that any praise coming out of you just sounds weird?” Zhou Hao shot the turtle an annoyed look.

He was reluctant to live with this crude turtle, but had no choice—they both hailed from the mortal realm and shared much in common. Besides, it was only because of him that the turtle had come; his reluctance mattered little.

“Who are you calling names, brat?” The turtle twisted its head to glare at Zhou Hao.

“So what if I insult you? You eat my food, drink my drink, sleep in my house. I’ll insult you as I please!” Zhou Hao rolled his eyes, not taking the turtle seriously.

Bang!

The next moment, Zhou Hao went flying, water splashing high—just because the turtle kicked him squarely on the backside!

“Dead turtle! How dare you kick me? I’ll strip your shell off!” Zhou Hao’s face darkened as he charged at the turtle in the lake.

The next moment, the battle between man and turtle erupted!

In the middle of the night, the turtle burrowed to the lake bottom to sleep, while Zhou Hao meditated, his face battered and bruised, struggling to restore calm. He seriously doubted—was this damned turtle really a turtle? It acted more like a stubborn mule!

The next day, ten suns rose, pouring radiant light over the mountains and rivers!

Zhou Hao nearly lost his mind early in the morning—the dead turtle demanded to accompany him to sword practice. Wasn’t that absurd?

“Why can’t you just stay home? There’s good food and drink, everything you want. Why insist on practicing swordplay?” After last night’s fight, Zhou Hao dared not insult the turtle further; its claws were even stronger than a mule’s hooves.

“Life lies in movement!” The turtle, hands clasped behind its back, posed as if it were a peerless master.

“You’re wrong. Actually, life lies in rest! Think about it—which mortal creature lives the longest? You, your kind!” Zhou Hao argued with the turtle.

“You sleep through most of the year, yet your lifespans are the longest among all animals. There’s a saying—thousand-year king, eighty-thousand-year turtle!”

“That’s a nice saying! But... I won’t listen. I want exercise, I want sword practice!” The turtle chuckled.

“I...” Zhou Hao nearly coughed up blood.

In the end, Zhou Hao gave in—he couldn’t beat the turtle. His body was strong enough, but the turtle was absurdly stronger!

“Hahaha, so that’s it. You can’t fly, so you need me to take you. Hahaha, how embarrassing!” Zhou Hao soared on his sword toward the practice grounds, the turtle clinging tightly to his neck, terrified of falling.

The turtle gritted its teeth at Zhou Hao’s words, but soon devised a way to get back at him.

“Cough, let go, let go—I’m about to be strangled, let go!” The immortal sword wobbled as Zhou Hao’s neck was squeezed painfully by the turtle’s little claws, while the turtle snickered.

“Ah, damn it! How do you fly a sword like this? Save me, I’m afraid of heights!”

“Help! I’m going to fall—cough... help! You damned... turtle, let go... cough!” The sword lost control, and Zhou Hao and the turtle were about to tumble from the sky.

Just then, a figure in white suddenly appeared, catching Zhou Hao. Seeing the turtle behind him, her face was covered in black lines.

“Zhou Hao, are you alright?” Yu Nan asked with concern.

“Thank heavens you came in time—otherwise this damned turtle would’ve strangled me!” Zhou Hao rubbed his neck, looking pitiful.

“You again, filthy turtle! Are you serious? You tried to strangle Zhou Hao—do you not understand gratitude?” Yu Nan scolded the turtle.

“Hmph, he mocked me!” The turtle turned its face away, sulking.

“Oh, now you’ve got an attitude?” Zhou Hao, amused, watched the turtle’s proud, angry expression.

“You both bully me—hmph, you’re villains! I’m just a turtle, new to this place, and you gang up on me. Boohoo...” The turtle wrapped its paws around its head and began to cry.

“There, there, don’t cry. Alright, alright—it’s our fault, all our fault. We bullied the weak, ganged up on you. Satisfied? Stop crying—come on, be a man... no, just forgive us. What do you want us to do for forgiveness?” Yu Nan, seeing the turtle like this, felt a bit guilty.

After all, the turtle was alone, new and unused to everything, and now she and Zhou Hao mocked it. That really wasn’t humane—or rather, wasn’t turtle-like!

“Really? Anything I want?”

“Yes, as long as you forgive us—anything!”

“Then, I want you to kiss me!”