Chapter 53: Is This Something Carbon-Based Life Forms Can Do?

"My partner, my girlfriend, my wife…"

"Alright, alright, we get it, you have a wife. Can you stop repeating it? Are you deliberately trying to provoke the viewers in my stream?" Jiang Yun interrupted the caller, looking thoroughly impatient.

He hated nothing more than people who liked to show off their relationships in a roundabout way, as if nobody else had ever been in love!

"No, Yunzi, that’s not it. I wanted to say, the three of them ran into each other yesterday."

Jiang Yun: What???

"Yunzi, what should I do now…"

"Quiet! I’m thinking!" Jiang Yun frowned, then turned to the viewers with a look of 'anger.' "You can’t do this! You know full well my viewers aren’t the brightest!"

The moment the caller mentioned the three meeting, the chat had already exploded with question marks. Now, with Jiang Yun’s comment, the barrage turned into a storm of jeers.

"????"

"Wait, streamer, what do you mean by that?"

"First time seeing a streamer roast his own viewers. Truly turning the world upside down!"

"Guys, report the streamer!"

"Oh, so now you’re attacking your own audience?!"

"Guys, hit that little fortune-telling hand and report the streamer!"

"…"

After teasing the viewers, Jiang Yun asked again, "So you’re saying, your three partners ran into each other yesterday?"

"Yes!"

"And do they all know about your relationships now?"

"They do now."

"Uh…" Jiang Yun stroked his chin. "Well, you’re in a tough spot. I have no experience with something like this…"

"Really?" The caller sounded surprised. "Don’t tell me you’ve never been in a relationship, Yunzi?"

Jiang Yun: …

"Who are you mocking here? Who hasn’t dated before?!"

"Don’t you know how to comfort your girlfriend when she’s upset?"

"If I did, would I still be single?!"

The caller: …

"So… can you refund the money I spent on those three Huazi?"

The viewer spoke softly.

"Refund?!" Jiang Yun’s voice shot up several octaves. "Keep dreaming! Any money that makes it into my pocket never comes back out!"

"Well, I’ll just file for a minor’s refund…"

At that, Jiang Yun’s mouth twisted in exasperation. "Can you guys stop with that trick? All you ever do is apply for minor refunds all day long. Don’t you care about your accounts?"

Any tip given on a streaming platform could be reclaimed by claiming to be underage, but once you did, the account was practically dead—no more topping up or tipping ever again. That’s why Jiang Yun always felt helpless when dealing with underage tippers—they’d rather lose their accounts just to make a scene. If that’s not hardcore, what is?

"But the whole point of sending three Carnivals was to get help with my problem. If you can’t solve it, why wouldn’t I ask for a refund? That’s nine thousand yuan after all." The viewer’s reasoning was sound, and for a moment, it almost made sense.

"Come on, I’m just an entertainment streamer. You want me to solve your relationship drama? Aren’t you just picking a fight?" Jiang Yun’s helplessness was practically leaking off the screen.

He didn’t even know when it started, but lately, every viewer who called in seemed to want advice on love, as if he were some kind of relationship guru.

"So, Yunzi, are you saying you’re not up to the task?"

"Not up to the task?!" Jiang Yun raised an eyebrow, then addressed his female fans in the chat. "Ladies, take a good look—this is the archetypal old man, never doing a losing deal. When you’re looking for a boyfriend, steer clear of schemers like this."

Then he turned back to the caller. "Alright, how about this—you give me a quick rundown of your relationships, and I’ll try to analyze it for you."

"Alright," the viewer replied and began, "I met my wife in college. After graduation, we got married. Through her, I met my current partner. At the time, both of us were married, but we couldn’t help ourselves and got together. After that, we’d often meet in secret, which drew his wife’s attention…"

"Wait, wait, wait!" Jiang Yun quickly cut him off. "His wife? So your partner is a lesbian?"

"No, we were both straight before. Now we’re together."

Jiang Yun: …

Silence—like the quiet banks of the Cam River tonight.

He glanced at the chat.

Sure enough, the barrage had already exploded.

"Huh???"

"Another plot twist?"

"I was already floored when you said you had three partners—now you’re telling me one of them is a man?"

"Yunzi’s channel sure doesn’t attract any dull folks!"

"Mind blown!!!"

"…"

"It’s fine, go on," Jiang Yun told the caller.

So the caller continued, "After getting together with my partner, I lost interest in my wife, but deep down, I still love her—otherwise, why would I have married her? So my behavior never changed and she didn’t notice anything. But my partner’s wife started to suspect something and began testing us again and again. To keep my relationship with my partner secret, I ended up sleeping with his wife..."

Jiang Yun: ???!!!

Jiang Yun’s mouth hung open; he could barely process what he was hearing. Meanwhile, the chat was a flurry of question marks, with hundreds of messages flying by every second.

"Wait—what?? Huh???"

"Hold on, I can’t keep up—my brain isn’t enough for this."

"Quiet! I’m trying to think!"

"What a soap opera!"

"No, no, no, I think my brain is breaking."

"…"

"I had always managed to keep all this under wraps," the caller went on, "but a few days ago, I was at my partner’s place getting cozy with his wife when my partner came home. He got so emotional that he revealed the whole situation to everyone. Now, my wife, my partner, and my girlfriend all ignore me, and things are super awkward between us. Yunzi, what should I do? I feel so helpless!"

Jiang Yun: …

"How about you stop feeling helpless for a minute? If anyone’s helpless, it’s me!" Jiang Yun said, utterly speechless.

He never imagined someone’s love life could be this complicated.

Could any ordinary carbon-based lifeform manage something like this?

"You… um… well… uh…"

Jiang Yun tried several times to speak but found himself at a loss for words. He’d never heard of such a tangled web of relationships. You couldn’t even make this up!

Reality truly has no need for logic.

After a long silence, Jiang Yun finally asked, "So who do you actually love?"

"I love them all. My wife is my true love—otherwise, I wouldn’t have married her. My partner too—otherwise, why would I have come out for him? As for my partner’s wife, at first, I only got involved with her to cover for my relationship with my partner, but people aren’t made of stone; feelings develop over time."

Jiang Yun: …

Favorite live stream: A Song of the Dancing Girl’s Tears, sung to leave the silly girl dumbfounded—please bookmark: () Live Stream: A Song of the Dancing Girl’s Tears, sung to leave the silly girl dumbfounded.