Chapter 28: Even Harder to Restrain Than a Pig on New Year's Eve

Whether it was Dumb Girl or Mozi, both were internet celebrities with tens of millions of followers on TikTok. Even the smallest streamer, Tuntun, had nearly three million fans. Jiang Yun, though he couldn’t compete with any of them in sheer follower count, had been trending frequently lately. Many viewers who follow streamers had seen clips of him interacting live with Dumb Girl in the past two days, so when the four of them posted highlights from their joint stream, it quickly drew a wave of likes from netizens. Aside from their large fanbases, the main draw was the outrageous banter between Mozi and Jiang Yun.

“Mozi’s head is full of clips!”
“I Have Hair.”
“I just want to know how many gigabytes are in Mozi’s brain.”
“If we hadn’t run into someone we knew, I’d definitely explain what Mozi meant.”
“Mozi’s starting speed is 240 kilometers per hour!”
“Brother Yun, who’s usually so lively, was stunned by Mozi’s comment.”
...

This snippet spread across TikTok at lightning speed. In less than an hour, related content shot straight into the platform’s top ten trending searches. This led a flood of viewers directly to their livestreams.

“What the heck, why did my stream’s viewer count suddenly surge?” Dumb Girl remarked, staring at her live online numbers. After all, she was a top streamer, and her audience had always been steady, rarely fluctuating much. But just now, for some unknown reason, the number of viewers had skyrocketed.

“Hey? Same here.” Tuntun beside her sounded puzzled.

Just then, Mozi burst out, “Damn! My stream’s online viewers just multiplied several times!”

“Huh???” Dumb Girl and Tuntun were both dumbfounded. Their own streams had seen modest increases, but nowhere near a doubling. Yet Mozi claimed hers had multiplied several times? Fortunately, they soon figured out the reason from the barrage of comments.

Every stream’s chat was flooded with the same three words: “I Have Hair.”

Seeing this, Mozi’s cheeks flushed red. She wasn’t usually thin-skinned, and she liked to make risqué jokes during her streams, but those were always intentional—she knew what kind of comments would follow. This time, though, the “hair” line had slipped out unconsciously, not as a deliberate effect for the stream.

So, faced with these comments, Mozi was genuinely struggling to keep her composure. “Hey, hey, hey, calm down, guys. Don’t get my stream banned! If you really want to spam, go to Brother Yun’s stream—it was his topic anyway.”

Jiang Yun, listening in, pursed his lips. That wasn’t his fault; Mozi had made so many risqué jokes that she’d stopped taking things seriously, which led to this situation. He said nothing, though, because…he wasn’t streaming! Everyone wanted to spam, but had nowhere to post.

“We want to go to Brother Yun’s stream, but he’s not live!”
“Yeah, what can we do if he won’t stream?”
“Unbelievable—he’s not even live, but still causing chaos. We have to chase him in other people’s streams.”
“If you want us to spam, tell Brother Yun to go live!”
...

Seeing the barrage of comments, Mozi said to Jiang Yun, “Brother Yun, everyone’s urging you to start your stream. Come on!”

“No way!” Jiang Yun refused without hesitation. “It’s not even midnight yet—why start a stream now? Besides, you’re a streamer; if you can’t even manage your traffic, what else can you manage?”

Mozi: ...

Jiang Yun’s words left Mozi momentarily speechless. After all, she’d originally connected with Jiang Yun to ride the wave of his recent popularity.

“Fine, fine, let’s just play games,” Mozi said helplessly.

Tuntun teased, “Mozi, if you don’t want the traffic, send your viewers to my stream! I’m just a small streamer, I’m desperate for more viewers.”

Dumb Girl chimed in, “I’d love that too! Send them over to me and Tuntun. Let us suffer the pain of too much traffic!”

Tuntun and Dumb Girl were genuinely envious of Mozi’s surge. They knew exactly how large Mozi’s usual audience was. For her to say her viewer count had multiplied several times—they couldn’t even imagine the numbers.

“Dream on! I’m a streamer too, why wouldn’t I want more viewers?” Mozi had finally shaken off her initial embarrassment. She was a streamer—why fear more traffic? The more viewers she had, the more she’d earn!

As her audience grew, Mozi tried to steer the conversation. Among the four, Jiang Yun was the most lively, so she turned her attention to him.

“Brother Yun.”
“Hm?”
“Have you ever dated anyone?”

Jiang Yun: ...

“No, I just came down from the mountain. I used to live in caves—if I liked a woman, I’d knock her out and carry her home,” Jiang Yun replied, mockingly. At his age—over twenty—it was impossible he’d never dated. Mozi’s question was clearly nonsense. Was there really anyone in their twenties who’d never dated?

Mozi caught the sarcasm in his tone and laughed, “But what if someone else liked the woman you brought home, and you couldn’t beat him?”

“What then? Ha! Of course, he’d join us!”

Mozi: ???

Jiang Yun’s words sent the already lively chat into a frenzy.

“Wait, Brother Yun, are you that generous?”
“Brother Yun, I’ve got your fan badge. Can I join?”
“Someone tell me how to find Brother Yun’s stream—I need to join his fan club so I can join him!”
“I want to join too!”
“I, Li Si, officially join!”
...

Dumb Girl interjected, “Alright, enough, Brother Yun, Mozi, don’t keep this up. We haven’t even been live long and we’ve already been warned three times by the moderators. If this keeps up, my stream will get shut down.”

Her tone was a bit helpless. Usually she was the one making the risqué jokes, but today she barely had a chance to chime in, and they kept getting moderator warnings. She was truly at a loss.

Mozi brought the conversation back, “Alright, alright, enough nonsense, Brother Yun. Let’s talk about something serious.”

“I am serious—it’s you who isn’t.”

“Well, when you were dating, did you ever have arguments with your girlfriend?”

“Huh?” Jiang Yun sounded puzzled, then replied, half questioning, “If we never argued, how would we break up?”

Mozi: ...

Alright, he’d managed to roast her again.

“I don’t know why you two argued, but honestly, girls are easy to appease. When we fight, just give us a hug and we’ll forgive you.”

“Huh?” Jiang Yun’s confusion was even louder this time. “Come on, sis, don’t you know? When you girls lose your temper, you’re harder to control than a New Year’s pig. You want me to hug you? I’d rather wrestle a pig!”

The viewers in the stream burst into laughter.

“Haha, harder to control than a New Year’s pig!”
“True, I agree with Brother Yun!”
“An angry girlfriend really is harder to handle than a New Year’s pig—how are we supposed to hug her?”
“You girls have to give us a chance to hug! If you keep dodging, how can we?”
“It’s not that we don’t want to hug—it’s you who won’t let us!”
...

Those who loved the stream: “A song for the Dancing Girl’s Tears, let’s confuse Dumb Girl. Please bookmark: () Live: A song for the Dancing Girl’s Tears, let’s confuse Dumb Girl.”