Chapter 151: Outrageous Simps

After pondering for quite a while, Jiang Yun ultimately chose the Master-level Lockpicking Skill.

As for why he picked this... well, it came down to a game of eeny, meeny, miny, moe.

In Jiang Yun's eyes, all these rewards were absolute garbage anyway, so it made no difference which one he chose.

Seeing Jiang Yun stare blankly as usual, the viewers in the livestream chat instantly knew what he was up to.

"Look at you, punching out early again, aren't you?"

"Can you pick a different way to clock off next time? We're getting sick of watching you zone out."

"You actually arrived early for once, and we thought you'd stream a bit longer, but you're still clocking out right at the two-hour mark."

"Brother Yun is treating being a streamer like a civil service job."

"............"

Coming back to his senses, Jiang Yun chuckled and raised an eyebrow at the barrage of complaints in the chat. "You guys get my drift! Well then, see you all tomorrow!"

With those words, Jiang Yun directly cut the livestream.

No sooner had he ended the broadcast than his phone rang. It was a call from the 4S dealership, informing him that his Audi A8L was fully repaired and asking if they should have it delivered straight to his house.

Remembering that his McLaren still needed a patch of paint touched up, Jiang Yun didn't have them drop off the A8L at his place. Instead, he drove over to the dealership himself.

First, he handed the McLaren over for the paint touch-up and then drove away in the A8L.

Before heading home, Jiang Yun made a special trip to buy a set of lockpicking tools.

Whether he would use them or not didn't matter, but since he now possessed the skill, was there any harm in stocking up on some gear?

Back at home, Jiang Yun unpacked the lockpicking tools and began tinkering with the different door locks around his apartment, eager to test the prowess of his Master-level Lockpicking Skill.

At first, Jiang Yun felt a bit clumsy, but given that it was a master-level ability, a few moments of practice quickly rendered his movements smooth and practiced.

Aside from his front door's fingerprint lock, which required picking through the peephole, any standard door lock yielded to Jiang Yun in just a single second or two...

"Back in ancient times, I totally would have been a master thief of legendary proportions," Jiang Yun murmured with a trace of sentimental awe.

As of now, he had mastered two master-level skills: Master-level Martial Arts and Master-level Lockpicking.

Combining these two skills... made it difficult for Jiang Yun to think of anything entirely wholesome.

Of course, Jiang Yun wasn't foolish enough to actually try his hand at being a master thief.

Putting aside the fact that he wasn't short on money, the omnipresent surveillance cameras scattered everywhere were enough to make him abandon any such notions.

Ding-dong~

Right at that moment, Jiang Yun's phone chimed.

It was a message from Fang Siqi.

"The case from this morning is pretty much wrapped up. It's a bit like your style. We might need you to collaborate with us again to co-publish the video about this case, just like last time."

Jiang Yun: ?????

Looking utterly bewildered, Jiang Yun typed back: "A bit like my style? What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's a bit abstract."

Jiang Yun: ........

"Give me specifics."

Instead of texting back, Fang Siqi called him directly via WeChat.

With a hint of puzzlement, Jiang Yun answered the call. "What's up?"

"Let me fill you in on the general gist of what happened this morning."

"Go ahead."

"It's like this..."

Fang Siqi recounted the events methodically:

"Girl A likes Boy A, but Boy A likes another girl, Girl B, and the two of them are dating.

When Girl A found out about this, she felt that Boy A had betrayed her, so she paid 100,000 yuan to hire Hitman A.

Hitman A agreed on the surface, but actually outsourced the job to Hitman B for 50,000 yuan, who in turn outsourced it to Hitman C for 20,000 yuan.

By coincidence, Hitman C also happened to have a crush on Girl B and knew Boy A. Out of affection for Girl B, he couldn't bring himself to kill Boy A.

However, he didn't want to let go of that 20,000 yuan either, so he struck a deal with Boy A: they would stage an act to fool the client and split the 20,000 yuan. Since the whole premise was shady to begin with, once they got the money, nobody would dare call the police even if they found out.

Boy A initially agreed. He cooperated with Hitman C to stage a fake murder scene, swindled the 20,000 yuan, and split it with him.

That explains why he was covered head-to-toe in tomato paste when he first showed up today.

Believing that Boy A was dead, Girl A sent him a barrage of emotional messages, which included mentions of why she wanted him dead and how much she had paid.

Upon reading these messages, Boy A realized that Hitman C must have pocketed the remaining 80,000 yuan all to himself, so he started a fight with him.

In the end, the more Boy A thought about it, the angrier he got, and he stormed off to the police station to report the crime..."

After listening to Fang Siqi's recounting, Jiang Yun fell completely silent.

After a long pause, he asked tentatively, "Was Boy A playing the field with two girls?"

"No, he and Girl B were exclusive. Girl A was just suffering from unrequited love."

Jiang Yun: ......

"Then was Girl B playing the field?"

"No, Hitman C was just a hopeless simp."

Jiang Yun: ......

"So Girl A genuinely thought Boy A was dead, and took the initiative to text him, telling him why she had him killed and how much she paid, right?"

"Correct."

"Isn't that practically handing over evidence on a silver platter?"

"That's why we cracked the case so fast."

Jiang Yun: ......

There were simply too many absurd elements at play, and Jiang Yun felt his brain struggling to process it all.

In a sense, Girl A was also a hopeless simp.

Only she was a violent simp—if she couldn't have him, she'd simply have him eliminated.

The entire case originated from a simp of a girl and concluded with a simp of a hitman.

"What do you think of this case? I feel like this is the kind of stunt your fans would pull."

Fang Siqi's voice interrupted Jiang Yun's train of thought.

Jiang Yun: ........

After a brief moment of silence, Jiang Yun replied, "Whether my fans are capable of this, I couldn't say. But those middlemen really deserve to die. If those two middlemen hadn't taken their cuts, this whole thing could have been resolved perfectly."

Jiang Yun: .........

Fang Siqi was left utterly speechless. Yet, upon closer reflection, it seemed kind of true.

If Hitman A and Hitman B hadn't acted as middlemen, and Girl A had gone straight to Hitman C, this whole affair might never have seen the light of day.

Girl A would have spent her money to get peace of mind, while Boy A and Hitman C would have each pocketed 50,000 yuan.

Boy A would be safe and sound, Girl B would be happy, and the simpering Hitman C would be content.

As for Boy A, he could have taken his share of 50,000 yuan and moved to another city with his girlfriend.

To put it simply, aside from the fact that it was entirely illegal, there would have been absolutely no other flaws.

Yet...

"They broke the law! And you call that a 'perfect resolution'? Resolution your head!"

Fang Siqi snapped at Jiang Yun in exasperation.

"I was just joking around anyway. Besides, didn't you guys already catch the culprits and solve the case?" Jiang Yun muttered defensively.

"Alright, alright, I'm done arguing with you. We'll edit the video on our end and email it to you later. Make sure you use your Douyin account to co-publish it with our official account."

"Got it, got it~"