Chapter 70: Esports Scumbag Soraka? Flirting with Five in the Rift Sparks Team Discord

Chapter 70: Esports Thot Soraka? Teasing Five in the Canyon Sparks Team Infighting!

Liu Qingsong tapped his flash and hit W forward.

Without a word, he wanted to rush up and shove his face into the Soraka’s ass, but the moment he looked up, he found that Soraka seemed to have anticipated it. Greasing her heels, she instantly backed off by several body lengths, making it completely impossible for him to touch her.

"But I'm hitting level 6 right away! I... what the fuck?" Taking advantage of a dying minion, Liu Qingsong instantly upgraded to level 6 and clicked his ultimate.

Just the moment he pressed it.

Soraka cast her E skill at almost the exact same time.

The purple light of the Equinox blazed brilliantly, completely cutting off Rakan's path of advancement.

Liu Qingsong's face turned ashen.

If Soraka had been even the slightest bit slow in her reaction, casting her E even a fraction of a second later, he would have been confident in using the movement speed bonus from his ultimate to dash right through her E.

But not now. Soraka had cast her spell almost synchronously with him; rushing forward would inevitably result in him being rooted by the second phase of her E after its 1.25-second delay.

Up top, Jayce was laning against Lucian. After getting ganked and killed once in the early game, he was under immense pressure, constantly being probed by TheShy—Q, poke, W, poke, and then sliding away with E.

"Low EQ: Teases five at once, total thot behavior. High EQ: Go heal and protect everyone."

That bastard Soraka wasn't even spacing properly!

Her absurd footwork was practically psychological torture!

A moment later.

Meanwhile, Soraka’s voice line chimed in right on cue.

It left the FPX bot lane sitting on pins and needles.

"I'll endure it!" Liu Qingsong swallowed his anger and bit his tongue.

"Good."

Nuguri: "Can you guys in the bot lane stop feeding? It's only been six or seven minutes, and the support has already died twice. The enemy Soraka's Mejai's is already at seven stacks!"

"Brother Xian, hurry up and scold me awake! I feel like I'm really dreaming!" Wink floated on air, feeling as though his dreams tonight would consist entirely of memories telling the Caitlyn 'don't farm, don't farm'.

"Wink's sudden ambush and kill was gorgeous! But Shaqima's early health buffer was truly on point too. That kite job honestly left me dumbfounded," Jiele laughed.

"Alright, say no more. This Soraka is a bit demonic, practically playing like she has a cheat code that only activates when she's low HP. Let's not provoke her for now, just steady our farm. In team fights, we have Jayce's poke and Lissandra's single-target hard CC, so it's still very playable," Tian chimed in.

If they didn't fight, their health bars would just keep getting whittled down like this.

Her voice lines had shifted from "Can we even run from this?" to "Can we outplay this now?"

"Here it comes, here it comes, the classic three-man dive, it's here!!" Seeing this, Jiele instantly raised his voice.

The FPX Four: "What the hell? How the fuck did you get solo killed by a Soraka?"

Soraka then took large strides and marched right back.

One second she'd come over and toss a big banana at you, the next she'd hit you with an E-A-Q combo.

With Kai'Sa suddenly initiating, Rakan—having no flash—was blown up mid-air by Kai'Sa's burst damage right as he tried to fly in using his E towards Caitlyn!

Soraka's Mejai's Soulstealer happily gained +2 stacks, reaching a total of 7.

A moment later.

LWX: "%$##!*"

"Say no more, Sister Tear has already lost it. His heart is in chaos, his spellcasts are lagging, he's become the LPL's prime patient."

Rakan's health had already dropped to half.

Suddenly, right on the ground beside the Krugs, a stealth ward unceremoniously popped up.

"My brother Mazi's kiting—you can just tell he's been trained by a seasoned thot. He's got Liu Qingsong's heart all twisted into knots."

"That predictive E!! I'm shocked! Shaqima even calculated that Liu Qingsong would instantly pop his ultimate to charm him upon hitting level six?"

A minute later.

The Krug let out a miserable yelp, transforming into a chunk of experience points that burrowed into Soraka's body, filling her gauge.

Wink's undisturbed farming in the bot lane also gave him a surge of confidence.

Nuguri: "I... why is this Soraka's damage so high? I didn't expect... I saw the enemy Kai'Sa recall, and she was just wandering around in front of me with one-third HP, so I wanted to jump on her and one-shot her with a combo. This guy's reaction time is genuinely terrifying; the moment I switched to hammer form and leaped, he dropped an E right under my feet almost instantly. I couldn't use a single skill, and then she just started kiting me..."

The streaming chat was spamming insults at Nuguri for his deformed mechanics.

Slap!

A Q.

Over the next few minutes.

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If they fought, they didn't dare fight too hard, constantly feeling like the enemy jungler was lurking behind Soraka, plus Soraka's movement was just too flirtatious.

After a grueling six minutes of farming, Wink finally had his Noonquiver in hand, compounded by the fact that Rakan's health had already been whittled down to a sliver.

Classic thot behavior!

She teases you to no end, but refuses to let you touch her.

Spider form Elise ate a silence effect right as she took to the skies, hanging suspended mid-air, utterly unable to land.

And the entire FPX roster utterly despised this Soraka. The moment they saw Soraka show herself in the top lane to soak up minion waves.

Right at that moment, taking advantage of Lucian's recall, Soraka's attention was drawn to a minion wave about to crash into the top tower.

In the game, the moment Rakan turned back.

With the distance stretched out, Soraka had already retreated multiple steps; blindly chasing would only result in getting peppered for free by the enemy Kai'Sa.

Compared to the cheerful atmosphere in the streaming chat, the internal atmosphere of the FPX team was clearly not so harmonious.

Whoosh! A mouthful of toxic healing landed steadily on TheShy, and TheShy's Lucian retaliated by unleashing The Culling, rat-tat-tatting Jayce to death in reverse.

————

LWX: "Tian, let me take these Krugs, I'm still a bit short on gold for my item, we've got the dragon fight coming up."

"Heal? Depressing! After this game is over, everyone on FPX is going to want to take turns beating up brother Mazi." Mob-style.

Gritting his teeth, Liu Qingsong controlled Rakan to retreat in chagrin, wasting his ultimate for nothing.

Kai'Sa out-farming Caitlyn?

"???"

Soraka's Mejai's gains +2 stacks.

Doinb: "I've cc'd the enemy Orianna!! She's super low, Soraka doesn't have her ultimate! Follow up with damage, quickly follow up with damage!"

"Can Shaqima pull off an outplay here?" Rita chimed in as well, her face full of eager anticipation.

The chat surged with a wave of comments.

"The weak combo of Soraka + Kai'Sa, I have no idea how you guys managed to get rolled this hard. I'm not gonna bother harassing her, I'm just gonna sit back and farm honestly, what is there to be scared of?" Nuguri thought to himself, marching into the bot lane with his character's loyal and honest gait.

"Awaken you with a kiss? I'm not Ah Bu."

After recalling, Soraka directly purchased a pair of Boots of Mobility and began running amok everywhere, bringing immense psychological terror to the entire FPX roster in the name of trolling.

Wink, however, felt an unprecedented sense of comfort during the laning phase.

Hitting Soraka was out of the question; he would never hit Soraka in this lifetime.

Doinb: "I don't understand how a Soraka support managed to beat you guys down like this? You're Rakan! Rakan, with that kind of mobility!"

"Yeah..." Liu Qingsong answered helplessly.

He was even out-farming the enemy Caitlyn by thirty minions.

A stream of question marks drifted across the chat.

In the span of just a few minutes, Soraka single-handedly turned the entire Summoner's Rift upside down, plunging all living things into misery.

Slap!

Suddenly, a slender figure burst out from the bush, waving a magic wand and summoning a purple ring of light directly beneath Elise's feet.

Caitlyn thought to herself, this is bad.

Only Liu Qingsong had tears in his eyes; if this weren't an official match, he'd be dying to give Nuguri a massive hug.

Liu Qingsong's face was livid: "This bastard's luck is way too good! Every single time, I'm just a tiny bit off! But I just can't reach him!"

Over the next few minutes, this Soraka was like a mischievous monkey from the 99999 streaming room, hopping up and down without a single second of peace.

Back in the day, Wink wouldn't even have dared to imagine such a thing.

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Equinox!

Jayce has been slain by Soraka!

"If he hasn't had his heart broken by a thot at least ten times, brother Mazi wouldn't be able to play such a disgusting Soraka."

Taking advantage of the brief window of a dying minion, he flicked his wrist and tapped W.

"You motherfucker!" Liu Qingsong snapped, turning back.

Kai'Sa's W skill, Void Seeker, pierced through the minion wave the moment a minion dropped, hurtling violently toward Rakan!

The observer was extremely clever, specifically giving Soraka a close-up camera shot.

————

He still didn't know what was about to hit him.

Like a master-class kiting thot, Soraka turned tail and bolted once more, keeping just out of arm's reach, stringing Rakan along and driving him to exasperation.

Rakan's health bar had already dwindled to a sliver.

The bot lane swapped to the top lane to farm, letting top lane's Jayce come down to the bot lane to absorb pressure.

As the game ticked past the 10-minute mark.

The already impoverished bot lane could not afford any more compounding disasters.

Since they were going to get pressured either way, letting their own bot lane go top to farm in peace for a bit was fine.

"Fuuuuuuck!" Tian's mental state completely imploded from anger.

Seeing the jungler agree, Caitlyn happily began munching on the Krugs, finally whittling them down to low health.

Instantly, they called in reinforcements.

Slap!

Another E skill was dropped right at Rakan's feet.

The caster desk erupted into a wave of cheers and applause.

Sure enough, the next second, a meteor could be seen drifting leisurely down from the sky.

Crash!

The Q skill, Starcall, landed at maximum range, wobblingly smashing right into Rakan's heel.

Friend or foe, everyone was styling on them; it couldn't possibly be just him, Mr. Win, getting beaten up the whole time, right?

AQ to start, followed up with another auto-attack.

Within the span of just a few minutes, both Caitlyn and Rakan had been forced to recall multiple times, facing immense pressure.

From what point onward was it that whenever the casters saw Shaqima run into danger...

Finally, the FPX bot lane couldn't withstand the pressure and directly opted for a lane swap.

"This Shaqima! Does he only know how to play when he's low health?! His Soraka's HP has consistently hovered around 1/3, but his mechanics are absolute limit-testing, repeatedly dodging Rakan's engages purely through footwork."

The jungler Elise and mid laner Lissandra collectively converged toward the top lane!

Nuguri: "Damn it! I can solo kill TheShy this wave! He's low HP!"

"Go heal, and protect everyone."

Taking the long way around?

While mid-flight with his W, Wink very confidently flashed forward, then rapidly tapped his E to boost his movement speed, instantly closing the distance to Rakan.

Soraka's Q skill, Starcall!

A brief piece of trivia:

Liu Qingsong's nickname was also called "Sister Tear" because netizens dug up his mainstream-hating Tieba ID from before he became famous: Tearing Open the Wound.

Hence the origin of Sister Tear.

Thanks to the two generous patrons, 'lloverbq' and 'Shangqing Xiaoyao Daoren', for their 100 coin tips!

Kowtowing!

Bang bang bang!!!

(End of this chapter)

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