Chapter 46: When One Means to Besmirch a Soldier, What Need Is There to Lack an Excuse? (6/7)

If you want to find the answer to that, you would probably have to ask TheShy and Rookie, though they would likely be answering through tears.

Their team’s absolute menace of a jungler, playing Malphite, had just backed to the base, bought two Control Wards, and swapped his stealth ward for an Oracle Lens.

Did you think he was planning to gank?

No, he was simply finding every possible way to steal experience.

The Control Wards he carried weren't meant to protect his teammates from enemy ganks; they were solely to ensure that when he was leeching XP, the enemy wouldn't spot him.

While clearing the Scuttle Crab, Cheng Xian placed a Control Ward in the brush by the river on the left side of mid lane. After confirming there were no enemy wards, he deliberately forced the Scuttle Crab closer to the mid lane, benevolently calling it "controlling river vision," while secretly devouring a wave of Rookie's minion experience.

After clearing the Scuttle, he headed top lane, shouting at the top of his lungs, "TheShy, keep the wave frozen! I'm coming top to help you gank."

Hearing that help was on the way, TheShy immediately froze two waves of minions right under his own tower.

The Malphite accelerated at maximum speed, dropped another Control Ward in the upper river brush, and the mid lane Control Ward vanished.

A containment zone had been formed by the earth itself.

Walking along while sighing, "Ah, Shy-bro, you gotta admit, picking a Malphite makes it really tough to gank people. I'm never picking this again."

"Rookie-bro, my good brother, I'm coming to fix your lane for you!"

Financial wizardry via Control Wards—low investment, high returns personified.

"Xian, top lane, you don't need to come," TheShy said, filled with grief and indignation as he desperately tried to draw a clear line between himself and Cheng Xian.

"Didn't that Malphite just use his Flash in mid lane?" Tian asked, his face a mask of utter confusion, right until he saw the Malphite's rune page.

Was it fucking me who held your hand and forced you to pick Malphite?!

It seemed his mental state hadn't been affected by that earlier death.

Instantly, Wink’s heart skipped a beat, his face turned ashen, and his lips trembled like a candle dying in the wind.

"This asshole is running Hextech Flashtraption," Tian muttered, sinking into deep contemplation as he looked at Malphite's secondary Inspiration tree.

He'd even had his Blue Buff stolen by this exact same thing in the early game.

He had waited stubbornly for TheShy to finish eating two waves of minions, yet the Malphite still hadn't walked out of the brush.

And on top of that, he had "accidentally" taken the cannon minion.

A few minutes later, they finally caught a window when Malphite backed to the base.

When greeted by TheShy and Rookie's soulful questioning: "Were your Control Wards just there to make sure the enemy didn't discover you were stealing your teammates' experience?"

Doinb, operating Sylas, was keeping a close eye on a slight positioning error by Twisted Fate.

"Huh? Top lane doesn't need healing? Oh, come on, Shy-bro, have you even played Malphite much? Malphite doesn't have a healing skill, don't worry about it," Cheng Xian replied smoothly with a smile.

Securing another two kills, the Malphite had now pushed the total score to 3-0.

Combining the jungle economy, stolen minion waves from the lanes, and the two kill bounties, Cheng Xian was sitting on a massive fortune of 1300 gold.

His ultimate ability: Cataclysm!

Logical, well-reasoned, and utterly convincing.

Wink finally understood the saying: *When a player is determined to steal resources, any excuse will do.*

QE landed, and Jarvan IV burst forth fiercely from the shadows!

Dragon Strike!

Their luck this game was truly cursed to the high heavens!

It felt as though the enemy Malphite had planted a tracking device on him, completely shutting down his every move.

"He's locked down! Follow me, follow me!!" Doinb screamed at the top of his lungs while Tian furrowed his brow, his fingers landing lightly and precisely.

"Brilliant! Tian's olfactory senses were razor-sharp this wave. He anticipated Malphite backing and immediately initiated on Rookie! The micro-play and coordination between the mid and jungle were dialed up to the max, taking Rookie down before he even had time to react!" Miller praised, validating Tian's gank.

Recalling with lightning speed to the base, he bought a Hextech Revolver and scooped up two more Control Wards.

"What's going on?"

At full health, Sylas couldn't cast a single spell. Upon landing, he was chained into Twisted Fate's follow-up CC and instantly vaporized by focus fire.

Wink: "..."

Hextech Flashtraption was something you usually only saw on support champions like Alistar or Leona when it appeared in professional play.

"Demacia!!!"

TheShy was so angry he felt like smashing his keyboard over the jungler's head.

Under the guise of "helping you push the wave," he leeched yet another wave of minions from TheShy.

Roaming for a gank through the blind spots of vision.

Sylas chained together AQ-AW-A, instantly chunking Twisted Fate down into execution range.

Historical figures like Qin Hui would have called him a master of the craft, while Yue Fei would probably have burst right out of his coffin just to charge into Summoner's Rift and beat the living daylight out of Malphite.

However, the Malphite farming away in the jungle, upon learning the news of his teammate's demise, heartbrokenly abandoned the Krugs he was halfway through and sprinted straight toward the mid lane.

Accompanied by Jarvan's booming war cry, his halberd plunged into the earth, shattering the surrounding ground into fracturing pieces.

How the hell was I supposed to know? It's my first time seeing a jungle Malphite in a pro match too, I have zero experience... Tian's expression slowly morphed into absolute numbness.

"What? No healing needed? Didn't I just say? Malphite as a hero, well, he..."

It reached the point where, even upon hitting level 6, Doinb hadn't even processed what was happening before Malphite launched a maximum-range R-Flash engage!

Unstoppable Force!

The first part of his E skill: Seismic Shard—wait, Seething Maul!

As IG's situation looked exceptionally bright.

Days without Cheng Xian supporting him were simply too blissful!

He had known this from the very beginning.

Yet a second later, he heard Cheng Xian say in the team voice comms:

Following up with crowd control to knock Twisted Fate airborne.

"He's losing at least two plates," Rita added.

Experience is experience no matter who gets it; they were good brothers, why draw lines between whose was whose?

Primary rune: Arcane Comet.

As for the secondary runes...

Tian had managed to weather the immense early-game deficit.

Instead, he turned tail and ran away.

"Rookie is in a bit of trouble here. Originally, he was keeping the wave frozen right under his tower, but now two waves have crashed into it, and both Jarvan and Sylas are in great health. Looks like they want those turret platings," Jiejie analyzed.

Closing off the escape routes and trapping Twisted Fate in the terrain.

Wink was secretly celebrating in the bottom lane.

After successfully assassinating Jayce, Cheng Xian hadn't just stolen Jayce's kill.

He promptly departed from this mortal realm.

"It's fine, stay calm, Malphite can only gank when his ultimate is up. His cooldowns are exceptionally long in the early game, so for the next minute or so, he shouldn't be making any noise." No sooner had Tian finished speaking than he heard top laner Nuguri emit a startled gasp.

"Are you shitting me?! You call that helping me fix the wave? That was pure wave theft, and I'm too polite to call you out on it!" Though Rookie was complaining, his tone remained relatively relaxed.

Tian felt another chill run down his spine and hurriedly dragged his camera view, only to catch a final glimpse of Jayce.

Respawning, accelerating at full speed, and heading straight for the bottom-side jungle!

The jungle camps had already respawned, waiting for his tender loving care.

"No... no need to come... no need to come... I'm farming up just fine..."

Then again, he was a former World Champion and FMVP winner after all.

Truth be told, despite leeching experience from his teammates, Malphite's level was skyrocketing by leaps and bounds.

As for whether a jungle Malphite should run that rune or not...

The moment the camera panned over, Nuguri's Jayce was already dead in front of his own turret.

Teammates—can stealing a teammate's minions even be called stealing?

"Wink, I'm backing, then I'll come help you bot."

"Ahchee... Wasn't that Malphite just in mid lane? How did he suddenly show up top?"

Cheng Xian answered with a righteous and unyielding expression, "Isn't that obvious? Do you enjoy doing shady, thieving things in broad daylight?"

"I don't know either! I was just farming peacefully with TheShy, and suddenly Malphite flashed out from the wall behind us. TheShy's Yasuo dashed through minions to stack a tornado, Q-Flashed me into the air, and I couldn't escape anymore. Even burning Flash wouldn't save me."

Sylas lunged forward, tossing a pair of digital garlic bulbs onto Twisted Fate in a flurry of execution!

The second part of his E skill: Abduct!

That was a good thing, actually.

"Malphite is here to catch the wave. Are Tian and the others still pushing? Oh, looks like Tian and Doinb chose to play it safe, clearing the wave into the tower and backing off." Just as Jiejie finished speaking, the unfolding scene forced his throat, which had barely rested, to erupt once more into a high-pitched shriek.

"WAIT!! WHAT IS THAT GUY SHAQIMA DOING?!! SHAQIMA DIDN'T CHOOSE TO CLEAR THE WAVE PUSHED INTO THE TOWER; HE'S ACTUALLY CHASING AFTER THE TWO RETREATING ENEMIES!!"

"IS SHAQIMA TRYING TO 1V2?! YOU KILLED MY TEAMMATE, BUT I NEVER PLANNED ON LETTING YOU GO!!" Miller's voice instantly followed, thick with adrenaline.