Chapter 61: Once he recovers, the beating continues tomorrow!

Li Shimin never expected to hear such a reason.

Even if you had just said you were deceived by her, could I not accept that?

Damn it, how did I end up with such a clueless grandson like you? Li Shimin’s expression twisted like a wrinkled eggplant.

No, if you remain obstinately unrepentant, I must beat some sense into you!

"Alright, as a man, you’ve got guts! Loyal and righteous, keeping your word—you’re a real fellow!" Saying this, Li Shimin folded his belt and lightly slapped it against the table, producing a crisp sound.

"But as an emperor, you damn well aren't fit for the job!"

"For a woman, just a woman!" Li Shimin’s tone was filled with exasperation at his descendant’s failure to live up to expectations. "Just for a woman, you actually turned the country into a complete mess! Can't you live without a woman?!"

Hearing this, Li Zhi and Li Qing exchanged glances, immediately turning their heads away and coughing to hide their smiles.

After all... Old Li was also a deeply affectionate romantic; during the days after Empress Zhangsun passed away, he had nearly failed to go on living, and his daily weeping had actually been recorded in the history books.

"Zhinü, what are you smiling at?" Li Shimin turned his head and gave him a death stare.

"Nothing, no..." Li Zhi instantly straightened his face, pretending to admire the scenery all around.

"I just heard that this kid Li Xian learned this from you? Heh..." Li Shimin once again flashed that toothache-like smile. "As the ruler does, so goes the subjects; the upper beam is crooked, causing the lower ones to slant. If you hadn't set such a bad example, would they have learned from you?"

Just as Li Zhi was about to defend himself, Li Shimin grabbed his belt and fiercely lashed him across the backside.

"Father, didn't you already beat me?!" Li Zhi felt extremely aggrieved in his heart. Clearly, the matter had already passed, so why was he still getting beaten?

"You sired such a fine son, what, am I not allowed to beat you?" Li Shimin sneered repeatedly. "Dare to talk back again, and I'll whip you right along with him!"

Li Zhi truly dared not speak his anger aloud, so he had to vent his fury onto Li Xian instead.

"Damn it, it's all because of you, you prodigal son, that I'm getting beaten too!" Li Zhi viciously snapped his belt, making loud popping sounds. "Damn your mother, see if I don't whip you to death today!"

The whip rained down on Li Xian like a storm, completely catching him by the head and face. Li Zhi had genuinely lost his temper, causing Li Xian to cry out in endless pain.

"I ask you, why did you demote the Five Princes?"

After beating him for a moment, Li Shimin held Li Zhi back and looked down at Li Xian to ask.

"The Empress and Wu Sansi said that they staged a coup just to curry favor by claiming merit for supporting the ascension..." Li Xian panted heavily, speaking word by word. "The two of them told me that Mother's health was failing anyway, and I only needed to wait to ascend the throne smoothly. They said the Five Princes and the others were completely redundant, purely driven by greed for merits..."

"Bullshit!" Li Shimin was consumed by rage, bringing the belt down hard across his shoulder. "Wait to ascend the throne smoothly? The Wu Zhou dynasty you damn well inherited, or my Great Tang? Does your imperial ancestral temple enshrine me, or her father Wu Shiyue?"

Li Xian was left speechless. He wanted to refute, but stuttered and could not utter a word.

"And what if she suddenly changed her mind? What if Empress Wu suddenly changed her mind and wanted to enthrone her nephew, what would you do then? Have you ever thought about that problem? What would your fate be before she enthroned her nephew?"

Li Shimin was furious at his lack of foresight, questioning him with earnest and well-meaning advice.

"This..." Li Xian truly had never considered this layer of the problem.

"I'll teach you a principle today: never count on anyone's promises unless the matter is entirely within your control."

"But it seems you're a completely muddled fool too, Xian'er?" Li Shimin couldn't be bothered to talk to him anymore.

"Here," Li Xian said, eager to try.

"Your father is tired from beating him. It's your turn this time!"

"You got it!" Li Xian had long wanted to join in, but earlier his father and grandfather had been enjoying the beating too much, and he hadn't dared to overstep.

Now that he had the imperial grandfather's order, how could he hold back? Whip him!

Whatever camaraderie they had from previously getting punished together for cockfighting no longer existed—he, Li Xian, had no such spineless younger brother!

After delivering a severe beating for a while, Li Shimin stopped Li Xian's actions.

"Alright, alright, take a break. It's Empress Wei's turn now."

"Thank you, Imperial Grandfather, thank you, Imperial Grandfather..." Li Xian was in excruciating agony, yet strangely, his body bore not a single trace of injury. If not for the dull ache lingering in the spots where he was struck, he might have suspected the violent beating was just an illusion.

"Stop, stop, stop! Who the hell told you to rest?" Li Zhi lashed out with a kick, sending Li Xian sprawling to the side. "Go on, squat over there and slap your own face!"

"Enough, he's getting older, let him go aside and rest," Li Shimin intervened.

Li Xian immediately expressed his gratitude, but the next sentence made him utterly break down.

"Once he recovers, we'll continue beating him tomorrow."

After Li Xian knelt off to the side, Li Shimin turned his gaze toward Empress Wei, who looked like a frightened quail.

"Don't... don't hit me, I'm a woman..."

Empress Wei whimpered as she squeezed backward, only to find the cold wall blocking her path. She could only watch in terror as Li Shimin and the other two men approached with belts in hand and fierce glints in their eyes.

"A woman?" Li Shimin laughed as if he had heard some hilarious joke, snapping his belt hard against the ground.

"When you framed loyal and capable officials, why didn't you think about being a woman!"

"When you wreaked havoc on the imperial court, why didn't you think about being a woman!"

"When you preyed upon the common people, why didn't you think about being a woman!"

"Now you remember you're a woman? Too late! For all the crimes you've committed, even if you weren't a woman—even if you were a dog—I'd still give you a couple of kicks! Take this!"

Li Shimin swung his belt, drawing a miserable scream from Empress Wei.

Had he not remembered his younger brother mentioning a public trial for this wicked woman, he would have long since ordered her dragged out and beheaded. Why would he waste breath on her?

"Ah! Your Majesty, say something, Your Majesty!" Overwhelmed by the pain, Empress Wei wailed repeatedly toward Li Xian.

Li Xian turned a deaf ear, simply kneeling there in utter tranquility.

Princess Anle clutched her legs with both hands, tears streaming down her face continuously.

She couldn't imagine how painful the beating would be when her turn came.

To be fair, theoretically speaking, this wasn't really beating a woman; it was disciplining unworthy descendants.

Seeing that Li Xian didn't say a single word, Empress Wei gradually sank into despair, never expecting that even her last straw of hope would abandon her.

"Even trash has to be put to use. How about this: since you and Wu Sansi are so passionately intertwined in adultery, go slap each other across the face," Li Zhi suggested with a sudden flash of inspiration.

"Hmm? Yes!" Li Shimin was extremely satisfied with this proposal. "Good! Let's do it that way."

"You two, slap yourselves two hundred times!" Upon receiving the affirmation, Li Zhi immediately issued the command. Suddenly remembering Li Xian, he called out, "Hey, Li Xian, go keep count for the two of them. Don't you like acting as the referee when the two of them play *shuanglu*? I'll satisfy you today—go count for them. Let me tell you, if you miss even one count, I'll pay it back tenfold on your own body!"

Li Xian did not refuse. He simply turned around quite neatly, pointed to a spot not far in front of him, and said, "Since Your Majesty has given the order, the two of you come over here. Rest assured, my counting has always been very accurate; you both know I'm good at this."