Chapter 33: The Most Important Thing You Have to Do Today Is Take This Beating
Page 1 of 3
Chapter 33: The Most Important Thing You Have to Do Today Is Take This Beating
Naturally, Li Xian could not be left out of such a splendid occasion. As Li Xian’s elder brother, Li Xian was perfectly entitled to beat him.
Li Dan and Princess Taiping, however, decided not to join the fun. Princess Taiping was innocent and carefree, while Li Dan was gentle by nature; neither of them could bring themselves to lay a hand on their elder brother, Li Xian.
They did not mind watching him get beaten, though. After all, the boy really was a bit too human.
When Li Xian entered and saw the scene before him, he froze.
A strange yet incomparably familiar man sat upright on the imperial bed, holding a dark leather belt in his hand. His father, who should have been dead, and his late Crown Prince elder brother stood on either side of him, each holding an identical belt. His younger brother and sister sat nearby, their eyes filled with inexplicable pity.
There was also a stranger present, but Li Xian automatically ignored him.
“Father… Eldest Brother…”
Li Xian knew perfectly well that his father and elder brother had returned from the dead. After all, apart from the two of them coming back like bolts of lightning, who else could have rescued him from his mother’s clutches?
“And this gentleman is…?”
He looked toward the man seated in the middle.
“This is our Imperial Grandfather, Emperor Taizong Wen of Great Tang,” Li Xian replied solemnly.
Li Xian was quick to recognize which way the wind was blowing. He immediately fell to his knees.
“Your grandson, Li Xian, pays his respects to Imperial Grandfather!”
Li Shimin merely let out a string of cold laughs and said nothing.
“Your son, Li Xian, pays his respects to Father and Eldest Brother.”
Having met with a hard wall, Li Xian turned and bowed to Li Zhi and his son.
Li Zhi spoke in a strange, mocking tone. “Oh, no, that won’t do. I certainly wouldn’t dare claim such a filial and accomplished son as you. As far as I can see, Wei Xuanzhen is your real father.”
At that moment, Li Zhi finally began to understand Li Shimin.
Damn it! Faced with such a spineless, dog-like creature, Li Zhi would never be able to dispel the resentment in his heart unless he beat him black and blue until he learned exactly why his son was so red.
Even as he brooded, he could not help examining himself. No matter how he thought about it, he could not understand how a man as calculating and scheming as Li Zhi had managed to produce such a weak-willed, gutless son.
The more he thought about it, the redder his eyes became, and the more benevolent his gaze toward Li Xian appeared.
And, to be fair, he was not entirely wrong. If Wu Zetian had not exploited his poor health, she might never have been able to infiltrate the imperial court to such an extent.
The husband and wife had truly embarked upon this journey together.
Li Xian was not stupid, of course. He might have been timid by nature, but he still knew how to read the room. It was obvious that his grandfather, father, and elder brother were looking at him rather strangely.
It would be best to slip away at once.
“Fa… Father, I suddenly remembered that I have an urgent matter to attend to…”
Stammering, Li Xian tried to make his escape.
Page 1 of 3
Page 2 of 3
“Stop, stop, stop…” Li Zhi raised a hand and cut him off. “What urgent matter could you possibly have? I’m telling you, the most important thing you have to do today is take this beating from me! Take that!”
“Wait, wait, hold on…”
Li Qing hurriedly stopped the three men as they charged forward to begin their lesson in parental affection.
Li Zhi seized Li Qing’s hand and said with grim determination, “Uncle, there is no need to dissuade me. Today, I absolutely must beat this beast to death!”
“Then don’t beat him here.” Li Qing pointed toward Princess Taiping and Li Dan. “There are children here. You might frighten them.”
“That’s right, that’s right. Your younger brother is right.” Li Shimin patted Li Zhi on the shoulder. “Listen to your uncle and drag him into the side hall.”
“But Father, it’s so much more satisfying to beat him here.” Li Zhi gestured around them. “Just look at how spacious this place is. I’m afraid I won’t be able to move freely in the side hall.”
“Oh, no, that won’t do.” Li Shimin tugged at his belt. “You didn’t know? Your uncle faints at the sight of blood…”
“What? There’s going to be blood too?”
Li Xian was so terrified that it felt as if one Buddha had ascended to heaven and another had entered nirvana.
Li Qing took a small bottle from the system and handed it to Li Shimin, reminding him, “Brother Li, remember to dip all three of your belts in this before you start.”
“What is it?” Li Shimin asked with interest.
“Povidone-iodine. It disinfects and sterilizes wounds.” Li Qing introduced it with great solemnity. “As the saying goes: coat the belts in iodine and disinfect as you beat. It also shows your sincere concern for this unfilial descendant, does it not?”
“To hell with your sincere concern. Today, I’m going to teach him what it means to put your whole heart into every blow!”
Li Shimin took the bottle of povidone-iodine and waved his hand grandly.
“Take him away!”
Li Xian was escorted into the side hall by Li Xian. Before long, a furious roar rang out from within.
“I told you to hand the empire over to Wei Xuanzhen!”
That was Li Zhi shouting.
“Ow! Ow-ow-ow…”
Li Xian cried out in pain like Tom Cat.
“I told you not to act like such a useless coward!”
Li Zhi had evidently lost his temper completely. He was delivering the most punishment of all, leaving both Li Shimin and Li Xian at a loss for words.
What has gotten into Father? Li Xian wondered inwardly.
Li Shimin, however, understood perfectly. Li Zhi had already been beaten twice by him and was in desperate need of someone on whom to vent his pent-up fury. There was a certain sense of a man who had been caught in the rain tearing someone else’s umbrella apart.
“Father, stop hitting me! You’re going to kill me! Waaah!”
Li Xian howled and begged for mercy, but all his pleas did was increase Li Zhi’s attack speed.
Page 2 of 3
Page 3 of 3
“You still dare beg for mercy? If I don’t beat you to death, you dog—”
Li Zhi was breathing heavily. After beating him for quite some time, even he had grown tired. He looked around, and Li Xian thoughtfully brought him a stool.
“Take a break, Zhin奴,” Li Shimin said, leaning against the table. He twisted open a bottle of mineral water that Li Qing had given him and handed it to Li Zhi.
Li Xian hammered his head against the floor at astonishing speed as he begged, “Please spare me, Father! Please, Father, have mercy…”
“I’ll rest for a while, then deal with you.”
Li Zhi tilted his head back and took a long drink of mineral water.
“That’s good. Take a break. Take a break…”
Li Xian forced a smile.
“Heh heh heh. Who the hell said you could take a break?”
Li Zhi sprayed a mouthful of water from the bottle at Li Xian.
“You don’t get to rest. Hurry up and slap yourself!”
“Father, this…”
Li Xian hesitated. He was genuinely afraid of pain.
“Then you do it, Xian’er.”
Li Zhi issued the order. By now, he had truly fallen in love with this feeling.
No wonder Father Emperor had enjoyed beating him. So this was how wonderful it could be.
Li Xian stepped forward, seized the belt, and swung it from side to side like a man whipping a spinning top.
He did not use deadly force, of course. Li Xian was his own younger brother. One should show mercy even when beating a dog—no, one should at least show consideration for the Buddha’s face behind the monk.
After resting briefly, Li Zhi joined the beating again. Li Xian was in excellent physical condition. Even after being whipped by the two of them for a full half-hour, he was still able to howl at the top of his lungs.
“You two had better remember this,” Li Qing solemnly warned Princess Taiping, who was peeking around the corner, and Li Dan, who sat upright and proper. “From now on, you are not allowed to cause trouble. Otherwise, your father may come over at any time to show you his affection.”
“Your grandson has learned his lesson,” Li Dan said, deeply shaken.
“Father would never hit me. Hmph.” Princess Taiping wrinkled her delicate nose and gave a sweet little snort. “Father loves me best!”
Li Qing said nothing. He merely hoped in secret that, several days from now, after Li Shimin and Li Zhi had gone back more than a decade into the past, Princess Taiping would still be quite so confident.
————————
Congratulations to ar for defeating bb!! You’re really not good enough, little bro!
End of Chapter
Page 3 of 3