Chapter 44

Shu Shiran and Ji Xi returned to Nancheng, bringing back the fish Ji Xi and Luke had caught.

The next day, Aunt Dou came over to cook. Seeing so many fish, her eyes widened in amazement, and she sighed, "Why are there so many? We won't need to buy any meat for the next few days. You'll just be eating fish."

Shu Shiran looked at Ji Xi and said, "He caught all of them."

Ji Xi said to Aunt Dou, "You should take a few home with you."

Aunt Dou replied, "These fish are so huge, I wouldn't finish them even if I took them back."

Ji Xi smiled and said, "Then share them with the aunties you dance with."

"Only give them to the ones you get along with," he added.

Aunt Dou gave him an exasperated look. "You're making fun of me again."

Ji Xi said, "I'm being serious."

During the day, Shu Shiran had the driver send two fish to her aunt. Her aunt loved eating fish.

Her grandmother couldn't eat seafood, otherwise, she would have sent two to Lubei.

In the end, Aunt Dou really did take a few when she left.

With the fish distributed this way, Shu Shiran and Ji Xi could easily finish the rest in a couple of days.

On Tuesday afternoon, Shu Shiran messaged Aunt Dou in advance to say she wouldn't be coming back for dinner.

Xu Ying had invited her out to eat that evening.

Zheng Tingyan had gone to Beicheng for a business trip on Monday and would be there for a week, so only Xu Ying and Shu Shiran were meeting for dinner.

The traffic on the way home from work was a bit heavy, and Shu Shiran was delayed for a while. When she arrived, Xu Ying was already there, sitting alone and lost in thought.

After sitting down, Shu Shiran asked, "Has your research institute been busy lately?"

Xu Ying replied, "It's all right, though I still have to read literature when I get home."

Shu Shiran nodded.

Doing historical research required immense composure and patience, which suited a personality like Xu Ying's.

Xu Ying asked, "What about you?"

Shu Shiran answered, "Not bad. Mostly just hosting Ji Xi's friends recently since they visited."

Xu Ying asked, "Did his friend come back from Haicheng with you guys too?"

Shu Shiran had posted photos from Haicheng in the group chat over the weekend.

"No, they went somewhere else."

Not long after, the dishes were served, and the two of them chatted as they ate.

Shu Shiran looked at Xu Ying sitting across from her and had a persistent feeling that Xu Ying had something on her mind today.

Not just today, actually. It seemed like it had been that way lately.

Xu Ying was a woman of few words and had been since childhood, unlike Zheng Tingyan, who would share everything with them whenever something happened.

Zheng Tingyan had even given her a nickname when they were kids: "The Silent Gourd."

Shu Shiran brought up Cheng Yexiu, asking, "Is Cheng Yexiu home tonight?"

Instead of answering, Xu Ying suddenly asked, "Rranran, how have things been between you and Ji Xi lately?"

Shu Shiran paused, then replied, "They're okay."

"And you and Cheng Yexiu? Everything all right?"

Xu Ying lowered her gaze. After a few seconds, she spoke in a tone so calm it was tinged with desolation, "Ranran, I've fallen in love with Cheng Yexiu."

Shu Shiran was immensely surprised.

Xu Ying and Cheng Yexiu had entered into an arranged marriage of convenience and had treated each other with mutual respect ever since.

In Xu Ying's own words, her marriage to Cheng Yexiu was like running a company together.

Shu Shiran and Zheng Tingyan had always believed that given Xu Ying's aloof personality, she would never develop romantic feelings for Cheng Yexiu.

She suddenly recalled the last time they played Truth or Dare, when she asked Xu Ying if she had ever fallen for another man after marriage, and Xu Ying had said no.

She hadn't expected Xu Ying to lose her heart to Cheng Yexiu.

Shu Shiran said, "You two are husband and wife to begin with, so that's nothing unusual."

Xu Ying said, "But he doesn't love me."

Shu Shiran asked, "Does he know how you feel?"

Xu Ying shook her head.

As if knowing what Shu Shiran wanted to say next, she continued, "I've been married to Cheng Yexiu for over two years and I know him very well. He has affection for me, but it's not romantic love. A man like him finds it very hard to give his heart to anyone."

Xu Ying added, "Things between us were harmonious before because both of us were managing the relationship and keeping it in balance. At first, I thought I could keep getting along with him the way we used to, but later I realized this is beyond my control. I've started to care too much, and I want more."

The balance between them had already been shattered.

Once her heart was involved, she would naturally crave his response, yet there would be none.

If this marital bond didn't exist, distancing herself might make things better, but they lived under the same roof day and night and slept in the same bed.

Consequently, resentment and bitterness would take root inside her, and she would slowly become someone she didn't recognize. Gradually, Cheng Yexiu might notice and remain as he was, or perhaps he wouldn't notice at all and would simply think she had changed.

Xu Ying's pride could not accept turning into that kind of person.

Shu Shiran listened to Xu Ying's account in a daze.

Xu Ying spoke calmly, but every word seemed to echo, repeatedly reverberating in Shu Shiran's heart.

"Then what do you plan to do?" Shu Shiran's voice was a bit dry.

Xu Ying smiled faintly. "I don't know either. I've kept this bottled up inside me for so long, and saying it out loud makes me feel much better."

Shu Shiran felt a pang of sympathy for her. "You should have told me sooner."

Xu Ying said, "Since Yanyan isn't here today, let's not tell her for now. She can't keep secrets, and besides, she never approved of us getting married this way in the first place."

Shu Shiran nodded.

"Ranran, you haven't fallen for Ji Xi, have you?" Xu Ying asked abruptly.

Shu Shiran froze, her fingertips tightening around her cup.

She instinctively answered, "No."

Flashing across her mind were images of Ji Xi wearing that silk scarf all the way to Nancheng, deliberately driving the speedboat at breakneck speed, handing over his mahjong winnings to her after a game, and the scene where he crossed paths with her in the underground parking garage instead of attending the dinner party that Zhao Siling was at.

After uttering the word "no," a heavy gloom settled over her heart.

Xu Ying said, "That's good."

Shu Shiran chased those scenes away from her mind.

"For people like us who enter into marriage this way, either neither of us falls in love and we live together harmoniously or we separate, or we develop feelings through our time together. The worst case scenario is when only one person loses their heart."

Xu Ying's cool and composed voice sounded like a merciful revelation.

"Because the one who falls in love will suffer terribly."

***

Walking out after dinner, Shu Shiran discovered that it had started raining outside.

The sudden downpour, carrying a chill, jolted the mind into sobriety.

Most of the time, the rain in Nancheng was fine and gentle, sometimes lingering through several overcast days before finally falling in a persistent, half-hearted drizzle.

Raindrops fell onto the car windows, clinging on before sliding down.

The world outside looked like a watercolor painting with its colors bleeding in the water.

Shu Shiran's phone rang.

Glancing at it, she saw it was a voice call from Aunt Dou.

She answered, "Aunt Dou?"

Aunt Dou's voice filled the car: "Shiran, have you headed back yet?"

Shu Shiran replied, "I'm on my way back."

Aunt Dou said, "Oh, oh. When you get back, remember to go check on A-Xi."

Shu Shiran's gaze flickered. She asked, "What's wrong with him?"

Aunt Dou said, "He has a fever."

Shu Shiran asked, "How did he catch a fever out of nowhere?"

Aunt Dou replied, "He said he started feeling a bit unwell yesterday. When I asked him, he said it might be because he caught a chill from the sea breeze."

"He didn't eat dinner either. He had just taken some medicine when I left. I called just now to see how he was doing, but he didn't pick up."

Shu Shiran said, "Don't worry, Aunt Dou, I'll go check on him."

Upon returning to Chuansong No. 1, Shu Shiran took the elevator straight upstairs, stepping inside while carrying the damp chill of the outside air.

Because of coming over for dinner recently, she had been coming upstairs quite often, though she generally stayed in the main living area and had never been to Ji Xi's bedroom.

Just as she was about to knock on Ji Xi's bedroom door, she noticed a figure lying on the sofa.

"Ji Xi," Shu Shiran called out to him.

There was no response.

She walked closer.

Ji Xi had fallen asleep on the sofa.

One hand was pressed over his eyes, palm facing upward with his wrist resting across the bridge of his nose, while his other hand hung limply off the edge of the sofa. Half of the blanket covering him had slipped onto the floor.

Why wouldn't he go sleep in his bedroom?

"Ji Xi?" Shu Shiran called out again.

He was sleeping soundly.

She bent down, picked up the blanket from the floor, and gently draped it back over him.

His face was flushed with sleep. Looking at him, Shu Shiran couldn't help thinking of Xu Ying's appearance earlier today.

She had always known what kind of person Ji Xi was.

She had witnessed how effortlessly he handled women.

He was always smooth, and sometimes it probably wasn't even intentional—just an inherent, flirtatious charm in his every gesture and movement.

Xu Ying's words had struck her like a blow to the head.

A prodigal wanderer like him was even less likely than Cheng Yexiu to ever give away his true heart.

There was a box of fever medication on the coffee table, which he must have taken.

She wondered if his fever had broken.

Not seeing a thermometer, Shu Shiran reached out to press her palm against his forehead.

It still felt a bit warm.

Just as she was about retract her hand, the hand resting across the bridge of his nose moved.

Suddenly, Shu Shiran's hand was caught mid-air, and with a pull of force, her entire body was yanked forward, tumbling onto Ji Xi.

The sudden turn of events left her momentarily dazed.

Raising her head, she saw that Ji Xi had opened his eyes. His gaze was cool, desolate, and he stared at her blankly.

The depths of his eyes were dark, clouded with a sleepy haze.

Startled by that gaze, Shu Shiran tried to push herself up, but before she could move, the back of her waist was firmly pressed down.

The hand she had braced against the edge of the sofa went limp. The space between their bodies vanished as her upper body pressed flush against Ji Xi's chest, plunging her view into darkness.

The jarring impact against her chest instantly stiffened Shu Shiran's body, and her face turned completely red as it was buried against his neck.

Realizing that the heat source touching the tip of her nose was the skin of Ji Xi's neck, her breathing hitched. After holding it for barely two seconds, she couldn't help but pant softly, her breathing rate even faster than before.

She desperately wanted to push herself up, but the hand gripping her wrist and the hand pressed against her back remained completely motionless, locking her in place.

Because of his illness, Ji Xi's body temperature was somewhat elevated. Radiating from below through their layers of clothing, it felt scorching hot.

This was clearly the action of someone who was not fully awake.

"Ji Xi."

Stiff as a board, Shu Shiran called his name, hoping to jolt his reason awake.

Her voice muffled against his neck, sounding soft and gentle.

The next second, the restraint on her body vanished.

She quickly pushed herself up against the sofa and stood, meeting Ji Xi's eyes.

Clearness had returned to Ji Xi's eyes, as if he were slowly waking from some illusion.

"Why are you here?" His voice was hoarse.

Shu Shiran averted her gaze and smoothed down her hair.

Her flushed ears were covered by her long locks.

Acting as if nothing was amiss, she said, "Aunt Dou called me. She said she was worried about you."

Ji Xi propped himself up into a sitting position and leaned back against the sofa. "Nothing's wrong."

Shu Shiran said, "I just touched your forehead. You're still a bit feverish."

Ji Xi let out an "oh" and said lazily, "That means I'm still a bit uncomfortable."

Shu Shiran: "..."

Even when sick, he was still like this.

A strange silence fell over them next.

Something seemed to be drifting in the air.

The warmth that had transferred onto Shu Shiran's body still lingered.

Ji Xi's gaze landed on her flushed face. "I was asleep just now and had a dream."