Chapter Seven: Farting Boom Boom Boom-Após Ter Seus Sentimentos Ouvidos, a Verdadeira Filha Querida Tornou-se a Favorita de Todos em Pequim(Felicidade plena)

"So," Lady Han fabricated—or rather, she began—"Shuangshuang has had a wretched life. She risked everything to save you; how can she not be considered a benefactor of our Marquis Qingyuan estate? Furthermore, you two spent two months together, morning and night. With you a married man and her an unwed maiden, who wouldn't call you a match made in heaven? Yet your wife, of all people, actually wants to drive her out of the estate. I must ask: is this how the Bai family teaches their daughters?"

[What a deranged old hag!]

[You’re old and senile, spewing nothing but nonsense! You can call a lightning strike a match made in heaven? With pimping skills like yours, it’s a waste that you aren’t running a brothel!]

Lin Yuanzhi, "!!!"

Lin Yuanzhi’s palms trembled. He hurriedly observed Old Lady Han, and seeing her expression remained unchanged, he let out a sigh of relief. He wished he could reprimand Lin Zhaozhao on the spot—how could a refined young lady who had yet to be married have such a loose tongue? However, for now, he had to patiently explain to his mother:

"Mother, those two months I was away on official business. When I was with my cousin, there were always maids and servants present. We never had any private, intimate contact."

"Besides," Lady Bai interjected, "it is precisely because Cousin Shuangshuang is a benefactor to my husband that I intend to provide her with some silver so she can find a suitable husband."

"Words flow easily from your mouth, but you know full well what you’re really thinking! I am speaking to my son; it is not your place as a woman to interrupt!"

Old Lady Han grabbed the teacup beside her and hurled it directly at Lady Bai’s head. Though the cup was small, it was filled with scalding hot water. Lady Bai only had time to shield her head, taking the full brunt of the blow on her hand. With a sharp crash, the hot cup tumbled from the back of her hand to the floor, shattering into pieces. Lady Bai felt an agonizing, searing pain across the back of her hand.

"Mother!" Lin Zhaozhao was furious at this sudden turn of events.

[Is this little old lady insane?]

[You aren't just a "woman," you’re half-buried in a coffin, so why are you acting like you’re the boss?]

[If you’ve scalded my beautiful mother, just wait until I scratch your face off!]

"Don't be afraid, Zhaozhao, Mother is fine." With tears in her eyes, Lady Bai pulled her young daughter close, despite the blisters forming on her exposed right hand.

Seeing this, Lin Yuanzhi was filled with distress and dissatisfaction. "Mother, if there is something to say, can we not speak calmly? Why must you resort to bullying Lady Bai?"

***

Han had given birth to three sons, and she had always been gentle and polite toward her other daughters-in-law and sons. If one argued it was because of their prominent family backgrounds, Lady Bai’s status was by no means inferior.

[What else could it be? If you’d use that walnut-sized brain of yours, you’d realize it’s obviously because—]

"This is all because of you!" Lady Han blurted out, successfully cutting off Lin Zhaozhao’s inner thoughts.

Lin Yuanzhi, still waiting for the rest, thought: *?!* No, why? Why is his mother so cold to him? Tell me!

[Huh, why is Father looking at me? Why doesn’t he hurry up and help my mother up?]

Lin Yuanzhi, "..." *No, who can stand it when you only say half of what you mean!* And besides, with his mother clinging to him and weeping, how was he supposed to have a hand free to help his wife?

Old Lady Han spoke righteously, "What do you mean by giving her silver to find a husband? I refuse to believe there is a man in this capital more outstanding than my own son!"

Lin Yuanzhi, "..." His mother’s words were so fair and impartial that he couldn't bring himself to refute them with a clear conscience.

Lady Bai ventured a quiet protest, "I am not dissatisfied with you, Mother. But when I married into the Marquis’s estate, the family precepts stated that whoever inherits the title must not take concubines, to ensure peace in the household..."

"Rules are rigid, but people are flexible! You study the teachings for women, which tell you to treat your husband as your heaven and to arrange concubines for him. I am only teaching you these things because I treat you like my own daughter. Look at the others—do I waste my breath on them like this?!"

[Words flow easily, but you don't feel the sting if the knife isn't in your own back!]

[You talk about womanly virtues, but if my grandfather had taken a concubine, I bet you’d have gone mad!]

"Besides," Lady Han looked at her eldest son, "your cousin was dressed so lightly yesterday. You saw it all clearly with your own eyes—can you not marry her for my sake?"

Had yesterday’s events not occurred, Lin Yuanzhi would have been quite fond of Zhao Shuangshuang’s kind, simple, and pitiable demeanor, and he wouldn't have minded marrying her to please his mother. But knowing that it was all an act, he felt a bitter taste in his mouth. Seeking a way to decline, he said, "Mother, I have just returned from Jiangnan and am truly exhausted in body and spirit; I have no heart for such romantic matters. Furthermore, my uncle has just been reprimanded by the Emperor. I had originally planned to host a banquet in the estate in three days to help my uncle network among the colleagues I’ve invited. If I were to marry now... with all these matters piling up, I fear it would delay my uncle’s reinstatement!"

What? Delaying her brother’s reinstatement? That would never do. The old lady’s expression shifted instantly. "It is Mother who was inconsiderate. Very well, you go ahead with your banquet; if the silver is insufficient, take it from your wife’s private treasury. We shall discuss Shuangshuang’s matter later."

However, "Zhaozhao is a child of our Marquis Qingyuan estate, yet she acts like a lowly servant girl, speaking disrespectfully to her elders. She shall be punished by copying the Diamond Sutra one hundred times!"

"Is one hundred times not too many?" Lin Yuanzhi tried to intercede. But the old lady’s heart was as hard as iron; the matter was settled.

Lin Zhaozhao, "..."

[Heavens! Earth! Why must you treat a kind and adorable little girl like this!]

On the other side, Zhao Shuangshuang wanted to say more, but Lin Yuanzhi, having received the go-ahead, led his wife and daughter away. Zhao Shuangshuang had no choice but to turn her grievances toward Lady Han. "Aunt!"

She looked at Lady Han, looking frantic. "Didn't you say you would have me marry Cousin today? And that I would report any movements in his quarters to you? Why have you gone back on your word?"

"Aunt wants to help you, but you must be more assertive! Yuanzhi truly has no such intentions, and the estate must host that banquet—how about this: wait a few more months in the estate, and Aunt will certainly see you get your wish."

*Wait, wait, wait!* Her aunt had told her to wait from the very first day she entered the estate! Two years had passed. In the Great Yong Dynasty, girls were often betrothed at eleven or twelve and married by fifteen or sixteen. She was already twenty—a "spinster" in everyone’s eyes! If she waited any longer, who would want her? No, she had to plan for herself.

Leaving the Changchun Courtyard, she took thirty taels of silver and said to her maid, "Go, you are to buy some..."