Chapter 52: Repenting for a Lifetime

"Do you think she only played polo for me to show off?"

The young boy raised his tear-rimmed eyes, a pair of starry gazes carrying a watery sheen more shimmering than starlight, making it unbearable for anyone to look at him.

Lin Wanyue pondered for a moment and said, "After all, it was just my casual guess; perhaps there was some misunderstanding in the midst of it. Although Zhaozhao usually has a bad temper and has even bullied me... we are still family after all. Perhaps she isn't that kind of person either, it's just that seeing her lock you out like this breaks my heart."

"Perhaps a misunderstanding, a bad temper, it breaks your heart to watch..."

What a familiar script!

Lin Qingci only felt his emotions and reason pulling back and forth against each other. He had lost count of how many times he had heard lines like these.

Earlier, up in the loft, he had seen Lin Zhaozhao maintaining the posture of having pushed Lin Wanyue.

When he asked about it, what had Lin Wanyue said?

"Perhaps it was a misunderstanding, Zhaozhao didn't push me..."

Later on, there was the theft of credit.

"I didn't know anything at the time, and was inexplicably dragged into it, told that I was the other person's savior..."

Yes, Lin Wanyue knew nothing; every time, the role she played was that of a victim, and he had been willing to believe she was a victim.

Yet now, looking back at every single incident, he only found her explanations vague and unable to withstand the slightest scrutiny.

With her lips speaking of possible misunderstandings, she never firmly told him not to speculate or misjudge Lin Wanyue.

These were just the two incidents he had discovered; what about the ones he hadn't discovered?

How much suffering had Lin Zhaozhao endured in corners unknown to him, embroiled in events where the truth was obscured?

He couldn't help but wonder, "Sister, do you truly believe in your heart that what Sister Zhaozhao did was for my benefit, rather than to show off?"

Lin Wanyue nibbled her lip, sensing that the development of events was not quite going as she had anticipated. After all, at times like this in the past, the other would always be brainwashed by her into thinking that Lin Zhaozhao was the problematic one.

Yet right now...

She had no choice but to pinch her fingertips and say, "Naturally."

"Sister, do you know? Every time you lie, you subconsciously pinch your pinky finger. You might not realize it, but I truly regarded you as my own sister. We grew up together since we were little; I thought that since we shared the same mother, the same blood flowed through our veins. But later on, the servants told me you weren't my biological sister—yet I thought to myself, so what? We lived together for so many years. When Father beat me, you stood in front of me to block it. When I was young and foolish, you comforted me not to be sad. In my heart, you were no different from a biological sister."

That was why, "You said you didn't like Sister Zhaozhao, and even if my heart wavered, the very moment you proposed running away from home, I would have stood behind you without a moment's hesitation to protect you. But Sister, exactly how many truths and how many lies are there in your mouth? Right now, I can't tell them apart at all!"

"You said Lin Zhaozhao bullied you, but facts have proven that all these years, the only one who swallowed her grievances and bit her tongue through the pain was her! We were the ones bullying her with our words and actions!"

No, Lin Wanyue was completely dumbfounded at this point.

"What on earth are you talking about? Weren't we talking about what happened on the polo field today? Why are you dragging up past matters? How on earth did I bully her? The one who suddenly came to this family as an interloper was her!"

"Why don't you understand yet?" Lin Qingci lost control of his temper completely. "She is not an interloper to this family at all! It's you! Originally, you should have been the one living in the countryside in a cattle shed, going out to do hard labor before dawn, with your hands covered in chilblains—it was she who endured all those hardships in your place! I truly don't understand why you can always act as though she owes you something? No, I'm a beast too; why are the two of us always capable of acting so mean-spirited? The ones truly exploiting others' misery to show off and picking at people's scars are us!"

The young boy's jarring words and the large tears rolling down his face startled Lin Wanyue.

Did she not know the truth in her heart?

Had they not been swapped at birth, she might not even know what kind of life she would be living.

However, "Wasn't I also a victim of this baby-switching chaos? I don't even know who my biological parents are! Was it my desire to enjoy all this wealth and glory? A proper set of parents suddenly became strangers, couldn't I be terrified? To this day, I don't even know who my biological parents are—am I not pitiful? Did Lin Zhaozhao say something to you just now? Didn't I tell you before, I did some things wrong in the past, but I was forced into it by circumstances!"

"Yes, you always have your circumstances, you always have your reasons. Setting aside the past, today on the polo field, I didn't ask you to speak a single word for me. When I saw you wronged, I stepped onto the field for you without a second thought. I never expected you to keep that kindness in your heart; I thought you regarded me as a younger brother too. But what happened?"

As the old saying goes, love me, love my dog—and Lin Qingci felt that in this sister's heart, she valued him even less than a dog raised at home.

As for stepping onto the field, Lin Zhaozhao had said he might break a leg; it was impossible that he wasn't afraid in his heart, so he understood why Lin Wanyue was afraid and didn't want to stand up for him. But understanding was understanding; emotionally, there was a massive sense of detachment.

"I know you played polo for my sake, but I truly felt unwell in my body today! That was why I didn't step onto the field for you. We grew up together since we were little, don't you know what kind of person I am? When you speak to me like this, don't you think my heart hurts?"

"I used to think I knew you very well."

In Lin Qingci's heart, the Lin Wanyue of the past had been as pure and bright as the breeze and the moon, as kind and helpless as one could be.

"I always felt I used to think too much, assuming that because Lin Zhaozhao was the biological daughter of the estate, Father and Mother would favor her, Grandfather and Grandmother wouldn't mistreat her, and our brothers would treat her well. That was why I only treated you well—only then would it be fair. But was that really fair? I knew you liked eating lychees, loved wearing pink dresses, and fancied expensive jewelry and trinkets, yet to this day, I don't even know what Sister Zhaozhao likes. Clearly—"

Clearly, that sister had treated him better; clearly, she was his real sister. When they were in the same womb, she was the sister who carefully curled up to leave space and nutrients for him, and even when he kicked and struck her, she couldn't bear to strike him back.

Yet what about now? Every time the other cautiously approached and tried to please him, he simply failed to cherish it.

Lin Wanyue pinched her fingertips. "So you're blaming me now?"

"No, I don't blame you. You're not at fault; you owe her nothing. You can resent her, blame her, but she is my sister. From beginning to end, the only one who was wrong is me."

The young boy picked up his crutch and limped toward his own courtyard.

"But it doesn't matter..."

He told himself, "Elder Sister is angry right now, but a person's life is so long. I can correct my bad temper, study hard, apply myself diligently, and use silver to seek Elder Sister's forgiveness."

"If a thousand taels aren't enough, I'll give her ten thousand taels, a hundred thousand taels! Wealth moves the human heart!"

If it didn't move them, it simply meant the amount wasn't enough!